Semper Fi | Double Post

I'm still trying to figure out this Blogger thangggg, and for some reason my posts are a day behind.  Seeing that I'm in the process of reorganizing my organizational priorities/skills, this is not okay with me.  Mondays are for Monday's post and Tuesdays are for Tuesday's post, and so on...  So I shall beat the system and DOUBLE POST!

HA!



For those that read last week's Fat Girl Slim, I haven't forgotten about my Marine "story".

I'll just jump right into it.

My senior year of high school (2001-2004), a good friend of mine invited me to join him in working out with the Marines.  Our intentions were to STRICTLY work out and tone up, NOT to enlist. haha  I mean, me? A Marine??  cheaaaa right.

You see, my senior year, I wasn't swimming competitively year round, but instead I was dancing.  Dancing is great exercise, but not as crucial on the body as swimming.  (I did gain THE most awesome calf muscles though!)  I had noticed that I did gain a little bit of weight, and I KNEW my endurance wasn't where it was 2 years before.

So we went.
I'm not gonna lie it was intimidating, to say the least. Here I am the ONLY girl working out with not only JUST guys, but MARINES. The workout kicked my butt, but by the time I left, I realized I was actually ALIVE, and that these workouts weren't nearly as severe as the workouts I endured while on the swim team.

::insert George Lopez's ego, "I GOT THIS!"::

I left feeling great!  I couldn't wait to go back.
So I did.  Weekend after weekend, I went and worked out with MARINES.
OH YEAHHHHH.
I'm not gonna lie, I walked with my head a little higher (and my muscles were def a little tighter).


At the time, financial aid and college, just seemed so BLAH to me.
I had NO idea what I wanted to go to school for, or what the heck I wanted to do with my life, so the Military seemed to be the best option.  After weeks of working out with the Marines, I figured, why not join?  Why not be the BEST of the BEST?  I'm sure I can hang...

So I enlisted.
I trained and trained and trained.
I ran 6 miles a day on top of doing their regular workouts.
I surpassed even the guys. While they were on the sidelines puking their guts out, I was hardly breaking a sweat.

Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!
[[ATTN MEN, US WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE US!]]


Word got around, and I had the not only the Army recruiters, but the Air Force recruiters COMING INTO the Marine office to try and sway my decision and convince me their branch was the better lifestyle.  I considered, but again, I wanted to be "The best of the best" aside from Special Forces, of course.  Ultimately, my goal was to go into the FBI, and I knew having "USMC" on my resume, would def help.

There was only one problem.
I was 7lbs overweight.

Yes. Overweight.
5'3.
154lbs.
Kicking the boy's butts, and you're telling me I'm OVERWEIGHT????

My recruiters fought for me. So much that MEPS waved 3 of the 7lbs.  The weight requirements were already just about to be altered anyway, but thankfully, for me, they waved it early.

Time was a tickin', and my ship date was drawing near. SOMETHING had to be done in order for me to lose the weight.  Okay, well this is EASY AS PIE!  I lost 5+ lbs for prom, so this is a simple cinch!

Wrong.

Even after 6+ miles a day, working out with the Marines at night, AND getting a personal fitness instructor, and eating like a bird, I didn't lose a SINGLE pound.  I even went as far as to take laxatives.

After a month, I figured something wasn't right. I should have lost 10+ lbs by now.  WHY couldn't I lose 4 measly lbs?? Just 4!


My ship date had come, and gone, and choosing another date was something I had to think about...

I decided to take a small break and head to down to my Grandmother's for the holidays.
This was a decision that only God had planned.
This was the last time I saw her.
She passed away a couple of weeks after I returned back home. 

I can't even imagine...
If things would have gone MY way, I wouldn't have had the chance to tell my Grandmother, "goodbye" for the last time.  The Bible tells us that what the enemy used for bad, God uses for good.  Through her passing, I found God again.  I found that I needed to listen to HIM more often, and less of my own ideas, thoughts, and dreams.  He had a better life planned for me farrrrr greater than I had (and that's obvious, today).  I sat for a good few hours in bed, just praying... I wept.  I wanted Jesus in my life.  HE was the One missing, and I was the one that needed to be found.

A couple of weeks after my grandmother had passed, I walked into the recruiters office, and said, "I'm not going. I'm done. Thanks for your time, efforts, and much persistence, but this isn't for me."  They couldn't believe what they were hearing, and I didn't go down without a fight.  They threatened me saying that I had already "joined", and there was no backing out, when I KNEW for a fact, that was a lie (thanks to my bff's dad who was already a Marine).  I walked out of there in tears trusting that God had better plans for me, and that the past year of my life... training and obedience wasn't a waste of time.

It wasn't.
Through this experience I gained self confidence, loyalty, discipline, respect, strength, and most importantly, I gained Him.  I was on HIS path now.  Not my own.  This experience changed my life, and I am thankful for walking in it and through it.


With that being said, yesterday, my younger sister, Chelsey, enlisted in the United States Navy.
Although, times are tough right now with the war over seas, I pray NOT for her to NOT go, but I pray for God's WILL to be done in her life.  I pray that whatever path HE has paved for her, she will walk it in obedience and faith.

If I have learned anything these passed 6 months, it is to pray for not what we WANT or think we need, but pray according to HIS will.  That way, our prayers are automatically answered. When we pray otherwise, we soon find ourselves disappointed or let down by God. WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ME??  Truth is, He is.  Question is, are YOU listening? 




Blood, sweat, tears and HUGE LOVE.
XoXo
-Casey <3


ENTERING DOUBLE POST MODE:
A couple of pics I took of Aislynn.  =]
Enjoy!

F2.5

1/160

ISO: 200

F2.5

1/160

ISO: 200

Casey <3

Infront of the Camera. | Hallelujah Tuesday

 [[Hallelujah Tuesday's are all about testimonies, personal experiences, and encouragement! If you'd like to offer your testimony to readers (and be featured here on my blog), please contact me! You don't have to be a blogger, just a real live human being with a story to tell!]]



Sayyy whattt??? ME in FRONT of the camera??? NAHHHHH!
YEP!  Jr and I are having professional pictures taken by the breathtaking Clayton Austin. Love Stories. come February of next year.  I must admit, while in the stars with excitement, I am a complete nervous WRECK!  I love directing others into the perfect "pose", but me??? I don't really even know where to begin. I'm the hand on the hip, prissy smile kinda gal...in every. single. picture. YEP. That's me!  For this shoot, the vulnerability is WAY up! Sky high, if you will. If you take a look at Clayton's work, you'll see how intimate the mood is.  Kinda scary right???? I mean, we have to be "intimate" while a stranger is all up in our grill with a camera.  Oh lawd.

Btw. yes, I'm freaking out even though we're only in the month of July.  You see, I'm sort of a perfectionist, and I like to plan as early as I possibly can.  For instance Aislynn's birthday isn't until October 31 (yes, Halloween), and I decided yesterday I will start planning mid- August if not the first of August.  I'm one of those who will plan and plan, and then when things don't go MY way, I'm filled with disappointment.  This habit, I am trying to break.  And THIS is why I love my hubby so...he's the complete opposite.  Which brings me to the inspirational aspect of our upcoming session...

Clayton send me an email this past weekend asking for a guide towards possible inspiration. Mmk, I thought. EASY! I do this with my client's too, and I DEF already have a zillion answers for him. I anxiously opened his email, and after reading his last question, my thoughts came to a complete halt.  He simply asked, "What are some things that connect you to one another?" Umm say what??? I thought and I thought, and I thought. Not one thing came to mind other than the love for eating out. ::facepalm::  I thought to myself, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? WHY THE HECK CAN'T I THINK OF ONEEEE SINGLE CONNECTION???? ... this is bad. This is bad. bad. bad." After contemplating it for a while, and desperately seeking Jr's opinion hoping with all my heart, he had the answer (again disappointment)... He too, couldn't think of a single thing besides yep, you guessed it, FOOD (amongst other GUY things. ugh)!! Wow. We've been married almost 3 full years, together 4+, and have a child, and that's ALL he's got! Suddenly the rush of, "OMG! What kind of couple are we??? How are we even married? And even more, how the heck have we managed to continuously be happy?? How are we STILL together?? Where the heck is that romantic spark everyone speaks of??"  I mean, Clayton's question REALLY took a toll on me that morning. So much, that in fact, 5 minutes from being ready to head out the door to run errands, I was ready to tell Jr, "Um. I'm not feeling too well, and I have a lot to get done... I think I'm just gonna stay in for the day. You can go ahead and take Aislynn out..." Why? So I could sit in bed all day, and ponder our happy connecting marriage.  ::slaps myself::


Immediately after, it dawned on me.




He's the cheese to my mac. (Juno got this from ME. I am the queen of MAC. Real talk)
The butter (bc I don't like peanut butter) to my jelly.
The yin to my yang.
My kinda perfect.


We're the opposites that MATCH.
And through our opposite "connections", we def CONNECT.
We compromise and compliment each other.

Just as I am a FULL BLOWN OUT PLANNER of events, he's a go with the flow kinda guy...one that makes the best of whatever the situation.  I love him because of this.  In almost every aspect of our personalities, we're the opposite of each other.  Although I REALLY don't enjoy watching sports on ESPN, I would def LOVE to actually attend a game. (May even hear me shout to the referee for a bad call)  Although I'm into crafts and getting creative, Jr can sure tie curling ribbon like no other!  Although he doesn't get into music AS much as I do, he still enjoys is, and feels special when I dedicate a song to him.

Everything CONNECTS us together. Why? Because, we ARE TOGETHER. Doesn't matter what we're doing or where we're at, as long as we're together, we're happy and very much in love.  And the MOST important connection we DO have, is OUR FAITH.  Our marriage isn't just the two of us, its the THREE of us; God, Jr, and myself.  We are blessed.  We are in love.  And we ARE CONNECTED.

<3

Pictures, smiles, and HUGE HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3

God Whispered...

....in my ear... or really I should say he has been all along, and I was just too dang stubborn to realize it. I'm not gonna lie, lately, I feel as if my work is starting to take on its OWN look and feel...one that isn't particularly ME. Now, don't get me wrong, I am still proud of how far I've come and the images I have been able to produce, and am extremely grateful to my clients, but at the same time, I feel like I've fallen into this "category". One that's isn't exactly me, but perhaps everybody else, but me. I'm sure I'm not the only photographer who has been there, done that, but I'm almost positive that when any artist begins their journey, the paths are indirect, intimidating, and very... well, all over the place. I've been walking down this path, and now, I feel I'm at a dead end. I say, "dead end", because although I am at a "stopping" point, I definitely still plan on walking back down that path, but perhaps taking a detour along the way. After tons of research, listening to my gut instinct, and recognizing God's sweet voice, I think I have finally come to a place where I can say, "Okay... I now know in which direction I want to take my work."

For those that know me, know I loveeee music. Its my muse. Music is the words which are expressed when you, yourself cannot express them, and this is often me... unable to express how I feel, but once I pop in that music track, the thoughts and feelings begin to flow, and the words become easier to access. I come from a very musically inclined family, and it has been apart of me since I was a twinkle in my mommy's eye. I simply love it, and am in love with being able to express oneself in such a beautiful and intimate way. I love genres such as blues, acoustics, and folk. Music is one thing I could not live without. So much inspiration in attained from listening to just one song...imagine an entire album...or rather, my entire ipod play list. lol So my musical inspiration will begin to more so tie into my post-production... a bit of fresh air, if you will.

So, I sat today, and had a little chit chat with my main man, JC... we talked... and you see, usually I'm the one doing all the talking. haha But not today... I just sat and simply listened to Him. Lately, I've been praying for a breakthrough. I don't want get in this photography funk, rut, jam, or whatever you wanna call it. I just want to continuously keep rolling and gaining speed along the way. I refuse to be in that percentage where most photographers don't make it, or quit too soon. I may not be where I want to be at this exact moment in time (and more than likely, that time will never come), but I do know, that with Him, "All things are possible!" Amen.
So anyway...back to my little discussion with JC. It wasn't a long drawn out one, but more of a, "Helloooo Casey!!! FINALLY you listen to Me!" kinda conversation. Almost like He took His own Bible, and smacked me over the head with it (haha Connie!). He simply reminded me how I, personally, got started down this path...

When my baby girl was born, I was taking pictures of her with, dare I say it, my camera phone. lol And it wasn't one of those good camera phones either, okay. (nowadays that's a different story). I soon remembered my dad had given me his Kodak Easy Share (remember the first ones that came out?? yeah. that one). So I took that thing everyyyywhereeeee!! And quickly crammed up space on my precious hard drive. I then decided it was time to upgrade, and the hubby bought me a regular Canon point and shoot. THAT'S when things really took off, and that's when my daughter probably began to realize that the camera was indeed permanently apart of my face. For those that have had the pleasure of seeing my daughter grow, y'all know she is a tiny bit crazy, and a tiny bit outta control. (my Energizer Bunny). Sooo posing her and getting her to smile on cue, was never in the works for me. Never. I simply took pictures of her going about her regular everyday routine. Some crawling here, some drooling there, some yelling here, some laughing there... and CLICK CLICK. THOSE were the moments I captured. THOSE are the moments I will remember most. THOSE are the moments, SHE will get to remember.


Photojournalism. I'm not talking about the news reporter kind. I'm generally talking about the style, the approach, the final product. THE KODAK MOMENT.


So from now on, during a session there will be minimal posing with minimal eye contact (with the camera). Just as I captured those moments of my daughter, I want to capture those moments of you, your family, your loved one(s). I want you to be able to look back and think, "Wow. I totally remember the silly grin (insert name) had when they were concentrating" ... "The way (insert name) scrunched their nose right before they kissed me."

The heck with forced smiles!! Its all about the "natural", now!


I don't feel as if I'm taking a COMPLETE detour, bc I honestly do feel I have dabbled in the this type of style, but I want to concentrate more on it. I want to be "invisible"... I want to be that person who just happened to have a camera the day of your family picnic or on your trip to the park, and I just happened to take awesome (*wink wink) photos.


So this is the approach I want to begin to take...
This type of photography isn't for everyone, and I understand that not all clients will consider me, but just letting you know what type of images you can expect. I hope you'll enjoy, and I hope you'll stick along for the ride! =]


I'll leave you with these images, which I took 2 nights ago while my sweet pea was taking a bubble bath. Enjoy. =)





XoXo
-Casey

Bright.eyed Bushy.tailed.

Gooooood Morning, cupcakes!!!


I wish I was a morning person. You know, like those freshly faced Stepford-wives-looking woman on the Folger's commercials? Yeah, that is so not me. Not even a little bit. Not even a hence of a little bit. I'm 100% night owl. Typically, I hoo my hoo-est in the weeeee hours of the morning, but that all changed, today. Life is taking on a new schedule in the Ayala household, and well, its ride or die. Alarm went off at 4:30am, and I wish I could say I gracefully popped out of bed with a huge smile on face, but no. I continued to lay there contemplating my new schedule... "Hmm...if I wake up at this time, then I can do this at this time....and do that at this time, and still be in bed ON time." You see, whenEVER my alarm sets off, I tend to argue with myself...so much that I tend to fall right back asleep. Am I the only one guilty of this pleasure? lol Cause, really, it is a pleasure... going back to sleep that is. Anywho... I woke up, laid in bed, and finally dragged, and I mean draggedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd (hence the "drag") myself to the bathroom, right up to the sink, where my body decided to take a little break, and rest itself on the counter top. I struggled to gain focus in my eyes, and when I finally did, I took a look at myself in the mirror, and thought, "hmph, we'll see how long this new schedule lasts." So, with that being said, we SHALL see! HA!

Dear God, I pray today be successful and muy muy productive! Thank you for another day here on this crazy earth, and may I not add to the insanity of it. In your most precious and Holy name, AMEN! AMEN!


I received this in my email this morning, and just thought I'd share! You see? There are many many things we can learn while simply laying in our bed (or sleeping in for that matter. lol)

Morning Motivation
When I woke up this morning lying in bed,
I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there,
in my very room.


AND NOT TO FORGET,
THE CARPET SAID...
KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY.