Okay, ladies, I checked my post options, and scheduled the post to post when I wanted, but it didn't work...
I dunno... I'm more than likely sure this post will post tomorrow. BOO. =(
Anywho...
I'm gonna kinda skip on today's Check It!
I've been crazy busy this week, and with it being already Thursday, it sure has paid off!
UPDATES:
Hubby is no longer a temp-hire, but instead a full time employee of the company. He's officially on the Payroll!!! I almost couldn't contain my excitement, yesterday! I am so so so soooo very proud of him! He is such a hard worker, and any company would be just completely blessed to have him on their team! And may I say, it is just beyond amazing to witness someone's life unfold. The hubbs is so charismatic and boy, does he love to talk. His work ethic is top notch, and he gets the job done. This position is absolutely perfect for him, and fits him like a glove! I truly believe in my heart, this is a huge stepping stone to something incredibly great in the future! God knows what's up! WAY TO GO, BABE!
With this new and improved schedule I'm on, I'm trying to stay as busy as possible. Meaning, less internet time. My emails are beginning to pile up, and I try my best to sort through them when I get the chance. Finding that chance is the hard part. Hubby gets home, and computer/work time is immediately shut off and shut down in order to spend good quality time together. And during the day, I try my best to stay away from any sitting activity. I promise you the computer has some sort of power that radiates itself to my hunger pains. I just get this need to snack, snack, snack. SO, to avoid any temptation, I, well...avoid the scenario all together. This will different once my site launches, but in the mean time, I shall train my body, brain, and tummy to strictly work on photography related business and not on getting chunkier.
Jr and I have our first marriage coaching class tonight, and like yesterday, I can hardly contain my excitement. I'm nervous, anxious, and all kinds'a happy! We are truly excited to see where this takes our marriage, and ultimately our family! I just hope we don't come out of there hating each other. haha!
I still have a long ways to go until my schedule is exactly where I wanna be, but hey, everyone's gotta start somewhere, right? I can't wait to post tomorrow's Fat Girl Slim! I have some wonderful news, and something very enlightening to share with you guys!
Until then, have a mahhhhvelous Thursday!!
Tootles!
HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Semper Fi | Double Post
I'm still trying to figure out this Blogger thangggg, and for some reason my posts are a day behind. Seeing that I'm in the process of reorganizing my organizational priorities/skills, this is not okay with me. Mondays are for Monday's post and Tuesdays are for Tuesday's post, and so on... So I shall beat the system and DOUBLE POST!
HA!
For those that read last week's Fat Girl Slim, I haven't forgotten about my Marine "story".
I'll just jump right into it.
My senior year of high school (2001-2004), a good friend of mine invited me to join him in working out with the Marines. Our intentions were to STRICTLY work out and tone up, NOT to enlist. haha I mean, me? A Marine?? cheaaaa right.
You see, my senior year, I wasn't swimming competitively year round, but instead I was dancing. Dancing is great exercise, but not as crucial on the body as swimming. (I did gain THE most awesome calf muscles though!) I had noticed that I did gain a little bit of weight, and I KNEW my endurance wasn't where it was 2 years before.
So we went.
I'm not gonna lie it was intimidating, to say the least. Here I am the ONLY girl working out with not only JUST guys, but MARINES. The workout kicked my butt, but by the time I left, I realized I was actually ALIVE, and that these workouts weren't nearly as severe as the workouts I endured while on the swim team.
::insert George Lopez's ego, "I GOT THIS!"::
I left feeling great! I couldn't wait to go back.
So I did. Weekend after weekend, I went and worked out with MARINES.
OH YEAHHHHH.
I'm not gonna lie, I walked with my head a little higher (and my muscles were def a little tighter).
At the time, financial aid and college, just seemed so BLAH to me.
I had NO idea what I wanted to go to school for, or what the heck I wanted to do with my life, so the Military seemed to be the best option. After weeks of working out with the Marines, I figured, why not join? Why not be the BEST of the BEST? I'm sure I can hang...
So I enlisted.
I trained and trained and trained.
I ran 6 miles a day on top of doing their regular workouts.
I surpassed even the guys. While they were on the sidelines puking their guts out, I was hardly breaking a sweat.
Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!
[[ATTN MEN, US WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE US!]]
Word got around, and I had the not only the Army recruiters, but the Air Force recruiters COMING INTO the Marine office to try and sway my decision and convince me their branch was the better lifestyle. I considered, but again, I wanted to be "The best of the best" aside from Special Forces, of course. Ultimately, my goal was to go into the FBI, and I knew having "USMC" on my resume, would def help.
There was only one problem.
I was 7lbs overweight.
Yes. Overweight.
5'3.
154lbs.
Kicking the boy's butts, and you're telling me I'm OVERWEIGHT????
My recruiters fought for me. So much that MEPS waved 3 of the 7lbs. The weight requirements were already just about to be altered anyway, but thankfully, for me, they waved it early.
Time was a tickin', and my ship date was drawing near. SOMETHING had to be done in order for me to lose the weight. Okay, well this is EASY AS PIE! I lost 5+ lbs for prom, so this is a simple cinch!
Wrong.
Even after 6+ miles a day, working out with the Marines at night, AND getting a personal fitness instructor, and eating like a bird, I didn't lose a SINGLE pound. I even went as far as to take laxatives.
After a month, I figured something wasn't right. I should have lost 10+ lbs by now. WHY couldn't I lose 4 measly lbs?? Just 4!
My ship date had come, and gone, and choosing another date was something I had to think about...
I decided to take a small break and head to down to my Grandmother's for the holidays.
This was a decision that only God had planned.
This was the last time I saw her.
She passed away a couple of weeks after I returned back home.
I can't even imagine...
If things would have gone MY way, I wouldn't have had the chance to tell my Grandmother, "goodbye" for the last time. The Bible tells us that what the enemy used for bad, God uses for good. Through her passing, I found God again. I found that I needed to listen to HIM more often, and less of my own ideas, thoughts, and dreams. He had a better life planned for me farrrrr greater than I had (and that's obvious, today). I sat for a good few hours in bed, just praying... I wept. I wanted Jesus in my life. HE was the One missing, and I was the one that needed to be found.
A couple of weeks after my grandmother had passed, I walked into the recruiters office, and said, "I'm not going. I'm done. Thanks for your time, efforts, and much persistence, but this isn't for me." They couldn't believe what they were hearing, and I didn't go down without a fight. They threatened me saying that I had already "joined", and there was no backing out, when I KNEW for a fact, that was a lie (thanks to my bff's dad who was already a Marine). I walked out of there in tears trusting that God had better plans for me, and that the past year of my life... training and obedience wasn't a waste of time.
It wasn't.
Through this experience I gained self confidence, loyalty, discipline, respect, strength, and most importantly, I gained Him. I was on HIS path now. Not my own. This experience changed my life, and I am thankful for walking in it and through it.
With that being said, yesterday, my younger sister, Chelsey, enlisted in the United States Navy.
Although, times are tough right now with the war over seas, I pray NOT for her to NOT go, but I pray for God's WILL to be done in her life. I pray that whatever path HE has paved for her, she will walk it in obedience and faith.
If I have learned anything these passed 6 months, it is to pray for not what we WANT or think we need, but pray according to HIS will. That way, our prayers are automatically answered. When we pray otherwise, we soon find ourselves disappointed or let down by God. WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ME?? Truth is, He is. Question is, are YOU listening?
Blood, sweat, tears and HUGE LOVE.
XoXo
-Casey <3
ENTERING DOUBLE POST MODE:
A couple of pics I took of Aislynn. =]
Enjoy!
HA!
For those that read last week's Fat Girl Slim, I haven't forgotten about my Marine "story".
I'll just jump right into it.
My senior year of high school (2001-2004), a good friend of mine invited me to join him in working out with the Marines. Our intentions were to STRICTLY work out and tone up, NOT to enlist. haha I mean, me? A Marine?? cheaaaa right.
You see, my senior year, I wasn't swimming competitively year round, but instead I was dancing. Dancing is great exercise, but not as crucial on the body as swimming. (I did gain THE most awesome calf muscles though!) I had noticed that I did gain a little bit of weight, and I KNEW my endurance wasn't where it was 2 years before.
So we went.
I'm not gonna lie it was intimidating, to say the least. Here I am the ONLY girl working out with not only JUST guys, but MARINES. The workout kicked my butt, but by the time I left, I realized I was actually ALIVE, and that these workouts weren't nearly as severe as the workouts I endured while on the swim team.
::insert George Lopez's ego, "I GOT THIS!"::
I left feeling great! I couldn't wait to go back.
So I did. Weekend after weekend, I went and worked out with MARINES.
OH YEAHHHHH.
I'm not gonna lie, I walked with my head a little higher (and my muscles were def a little tighter).
At the time, financial aid and college, just seemed so BLAH to me.
I had NO idea what I wanted to go to school for, or what the heck I wanted to do with my life, so the Military seemed to be the best option. After weeks of working out with the Marines, I figured, why not join? Why not be the BEST of the BEST? I'm sure I can hang...
So I enlisted.
I trained and trained and trained.
I ran 6 miles a day on top of doing their regular workouts.
I surpassed even the guys. While they were on the sidelines puking their guts out, I was hardly breaking a sweat.
Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!
[[ATTN MEN, US WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CAN DO! DON'T UNDERESTIMATE US!]]
Word got around, and I had the not only the Army recruiters, but the Air Force recruiters COMING INTO the Marine office to try and sway my decision and convince me their branch was the better lifestyle. I considered, but again, I wanted to be "The best of the best" aside from Special Forces, of course. Ultimately, my goal was to go into the FBI, and I knew having "USMC" on my resume, would def help.
There was only one problem.
I was 7lbs overweight.
Yes. Overweight.
5'3.
154lbs.
Kicking the boy's butts, and you're telling me I'm OVERWEIGHT????
My recruiters fought for me. So much that MEPS waved 3 of the 7lbs. The weight requirements were already just about to be altered anyway, but thankfully, for me, they waved it early.
Time was a tickin', and my ship date was drawing near. SOMETHING had to be done in order for me to lose the weight. Okay, well this is EASY AS PIE! I lost 5+ lbs for prom, so this is a simple cinch!
Wrong.
Even after 6+ miles a day, working out with the Marines at night, AND getting a personal fitness instructor, and eating like a bird, I didn't lose a SINGLE pound. I even went as far as to take laxatives.
After a month, I figured something wasn't right. I should have lost 10+ lbs by now. WHY couldn't I lose 4 measly lbs?? Just 4!
My ship date had come, and gone, and choosing another date was something I had to think about...
I decided to take a small break and head to down to my Grandmother's for the holidays.
This was a decision that only God had planned.
This was the last time I saw her.
She passed away a couple of weeks after I returned back home.
I can't even imagine...
If things would have gone MY way, I wouldn't have had the chance to tell my Grandmother, "goodbye" for the last time. The Bible tells us that what the enemy used for bad, God uses for good. Through her passing, I found God again. I found that I needed to listen to HIM more often, and less of my own ideas, thoughts, and dreams. He had a better life planned for me farrrrr greater than I had (and that's obvious, today). I sat for a good few hours in bed, just praying... I wept. I wanted Jesus in my life. HE was the One missing, and I was the one that needed to be found.
A couple of weeks after my grandmother had passed, I walked into the recruiters office, and said, "I'm not going. I'm done. Thanks for your time, efforts, and much persistence, but this isn't for me." They couldn't believe what they were hearing, and I didn't go down without a fight. They threatened me saying that I had already "joined", and there was no backing out, when I KNEW for a fact, that was a lie (thanks to my bff's dad who was already a Marine). I walked out of there in tears trusting that God had better plans for me, and that the past year of my life... training and obedience wasn't a waste of time.
It wasn't.
Through this experience I gained self confidence, loyalty, discipline, respect, strength, and most importantly, I gained Him. I was on HIS path now. Not my own. This experience changed my life, and I am thankful for walking in it and through it.
With that being said, yesterday, my younger sister, Chelsey, enlisted in the United States Navy.
Although, times are tough right now with the war over seas, I pray NOT for her to NOT go, but I pray for God's WILL to be done in her life. I pray that whatever path HE has paved for her, she will walk it in obedience and faith.
If I have learned anything these passed 6 months, it is to pray for not what we WANT or think we need, but pray according to HIS will. That way, our prayers are automatically answered. When we pray otherwise, we soon find ourselves disappointed or let down by God. WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING ME?? Truth is, He is. Question is, are YOU listening?
Blood, sweat, tears and HUGE LOVE.
XoXo
-Casey <3
ENTERING DOUBLE POST MODE:
A couple of pics I took of Aislynn. =]
Enjoy!
F2.5
1/160
ISO: 200
F2.5
1/160
ISO: 200
Casey <3
Monday, July 26, 2010
Busy Little Bee | Momma-ville Monday
This weekend was def one of THOSE weekends. Ya know the kind where you shop till you drop? The kind where at the end of the day, you FINALLY get home, get out of your car, open your trunk, and then naturally sigh heavily. Why? Because you have a million and one bags to carry. Then you test your Super Mom strength and try to carry ALL of the million and one bags so you don't have to make that ONE more trip back out to the car?
Yeah, it was one of those weekends!
Unloaded the trunk of the car, separated the groceries from the toiletries, and the clothes, from the toys/gifts...
by this time, I have NO room to put anything I just bought.
Okay...time to REORGANIZE, yet again. Reorganizing is fun, but when you get to the point that you just have NO more room for your reorganizing ideas and skills, something's is def not right.
So I figure, okay, well I have no choice BUT to reorganize, cause I can't standddddd my counters with ANYTHING on them, but maybe 2 or 3 items. Clutter puts me in the nastiest mood, and I wanna pull my hair out. It just drives me up the wall...I can't even begin to express the agony I feel when faced with a counter/dresser/desk/bed full of STUFF.
You see, I used to be badddddd about organization, so bad that I think I actually border lined OCD.
I liked the electronic remotes lined up EXACTLY from tallest to shortest.
The window curtains HAD to be opened (and lined up) EXACTLY on a certain part of the blinds.
Windows blinds HAD to be opened (this is STILL a must. I love natural light, and I'd live in a glass house I could).
Pictures on the fridge door had their EXACT place. (I freaked out once cause ONE pictures was "missing." I had forgotten I had given it to my mother)
Bathroom decorations had to be slanted, positioned in the EXACT way I designed them to be.
Kitchen cooking appliances (kept in a stand up holder) had to be positioned to look like they "bloomed"... measuring cups had to be on the RIGHT side ALWAYS.
Mmkk...before you think I need a visit to the crazy house, I think you get my drift...
Basically, it just got to a point, where I would even get upset with my poor husband for not putting stuff back the way I wanted it.
::weirdo:: (its okay to agree)
I prayed and prayed for God to heal my crazy organizational spaz attacks.
And in NO time, He sure did.
Now, its been SOME time, and I've COMPLETELY forgotten who that person was.
I have absolutely NO signs or traces of her left.
Bad.
Lazy.
PRO-crastination. (hence the "pro")
Stuff is everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
My dresser has turned into this catch-off for whatever. (this bugs me when I look at it, so I tend to avoid it)
My bathroom sink looks like it lost a war to hairspray, lotion, and hair ties.
My desk stays clean for all of ONE day.
::AHH! Enough, this list is def not helping my sanity for the day!!!!::
Okay, back to the end of my shopping trip.
Here I am, with NO where to successfully organize my load of to-do items.
Time management.
I have a 3 year old, and a husband that works over 70 hours a week.
There is NO excuse for not staying busy, and not being able to be organized.
The Bible says the home should be a place of rest and peace. It also says your home should be a happy place for your hubby to come home to...he shouldn't have to dread it, and well...neither should you since, if you're like me, a full time mommy, you're actually living AND working there.
(It amazes me that I have yet to lose my sanity due to the "mess" of STUFF. I'm certain this would have put me in the ground before.)
So, I figured if I learned ANYTHING in "College 101" it was the NEED in everyone's life to manage their time. Its a must. A MUST. A NEED. Without it, life is chaos, but with it... well, a clean home is a happy home. While in those thoughts, I added, "okay...that's my blog for tomorrow!" Well, I woke up this morning and one of my FAVE bloggers wrote about, yes, you guessed it, ORGANIZING and TIME MANAGEMENT! YAY!!
Without further a due:
CHECK IT!
http://thecreativemama.com/a-daily-routine-recycled/
OCD, clutter, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Yeah, it was one of those weekends!
Unloaded the trunk of the car, separated the groceries from the toiletries, and the clothes, from the toys/gifts...
by this time, I have NO room to put anything I just bought.
Okay...time to REORGANIZE, yet again. Reorganizing is fun, but when you get to the point that you just have NO more room for your reorganizing ideas and skills, something's is def not right.
So I figure, okay, well I have no choice BUT to reorganize, cause I can't standddddd my counters with ANYTHING on them, but maybe 2 or 3 items. Clutter puts me in the nastiest mood, and I wanna pull my hair out. It just drives me up the wall...I can't even begin to express the agony I feel when faced with a counter/dresser/desk/bed full of STUFF.
You see, I used to be badddddd about organization, so bad that I think I actually border lined OCD.
I liked the electronic remotes lined up EXACTLY from tallest to shortest.
The window curtains HAD to be opened (and lined up) EXACTLY on a certain part of the blinds.
Windows blinds HAD to be opened (this is STILL a must. I love natural light, and I'd live in a glass house I could).
Pictures on the fridge door had their EXACT place. (I freaked out once cause ONE pictures was "missing." I had forgotten I had given it to my mother)
Bathroom decorations had to be slanted, positioned in the EXACT way I designed them to be.
Kitchen cooking appliances (kept in a stand up holder) had to be positioned to look like they "bloomed"... measuring cups had to be on the RIGHT side ALWAYS.
Mmkk...before you think I need a visit to the crazy house, I think you get my drift...
Basically, it just got to a point, where I would even get upset with my poor husband for not putting stuff back the way I wanted it.
::weirdo:: (its okay to agree)
I prayed and prayed for God to heal my crazy organizational spaz attacks.
And in NO time, He sure did.
Now, its been SOME time, and I've COMPLETELY forgotten who that person was.
I have absolutely NO signs or traces of her left.
Bad.
Lazy.
PRO-crastination. (hence the "pro")
Stuff is everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
My dresser has turned into this catch-off for whatever. (this bugs me when I look at it, so I tend to avoid it)
My bathroom sink looks like it lost a war to hairspray, lotion, and hair ties.
My desk stays clean for all of ONE day.
::AHH! Enough, this list is def not helping my sanity for the day!!!!::
Okay, back to the end of my shopping trip.
Here I am, with NO where to successfully organize my load of to-do items.
Time management.
I have a 3 year old, and a husband that works over 70 hours a week.
There is NO excuse for not staying busy, and not being able to be organized.
The Bible says the home should be a place of rest and peace. It also says your home should be a happy place for your hubby to come home to...he shouldn't have to dread it, and well...neither should you since, if you're like me, a full time mommy, you're actually living AND working there.
(It amazes me that I have yet to lose my sanity due to the "mess" of STUFF. I'm certain this would have put me in the ground before.)
So, I figured if I learned ANYTHING in "College 101" it was the NEED in everyone's life to manage their time. Its a must. A MUST. A NEED. Without it, life is chaos, but with it... well, a clean home is a happy home. While in those thoughts, I added, "okay...that's my blog for tomorrow!" Well, I woke up this morning and one of my FAVE bloggers wrote about, yes, you guessed it, ORGANIZING and TIME MANAGEMENT! YAY!!
Without further a due:
CHECK IT!
http://thecreativemama.com/a-daily-routine-recycled/
::hehe::
OCD, clutter, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I can't breef! | Meet the Ayala's Satruday
I know, I know. I'm behind. I guess writing my last blog wasn't going to be as easy as I imagined, and it took longer than anticipated. Glad I got it over with though, and through my journey, I hope somewhere along the way I can inspire others. Life isn't exactly easy, but its the truth, and like the good 'ol Bible says, "the truth shall set you free." ...
[[Saturday's is all about the many and mini adventures of the Ayala's. Something is ALWAYS happening to us. ALWAYS. This, however makes life exciting. A life of "excitement" my husband never had until he put a ring on it. HA!]]
Flying.
Before April of this year, I hadn't been on a plane since the sandbox ages, in which I hurled my most recent meal into a paper bag. I don't remember this, but my mother sure does.
April 2010.
I went to NC.
On a plane.
By myself. (yes I'm 24 yrs old, but who's counting???)
The early morning of my flight out to RDU, my dad and hubby dropped me off. Yes, all the way to the security gate. (don't laugh.) I was deathly scared of getting on the wrong flight (of course if I landed in Hawaii or somewhere tropical, that'd be a different story).
First off, I had to UNpack everything I had JUST packed ever so neatly in my little carry on. UGH.
Seriously. And then I HAD to take off my shoes and walk barefoot on that shanasty cold floor??? Are you kidding me??? GROSS! Okay...better than getting arrested, I guess. I waved goodbye, and fought the tears. (yes, I was THIS emotional)
I found my gate, and sat down.
All while waiting to board my flight, I wondered if I was even at the RIGHT gate, even after checking and double checking, and triple checking, making sure my weary eyes were not deceiving me and that I DID indeed know how to read numbers correctly. I looked at my pass, then looked at the gate, then looked at the monitor. And repeated this, I dunno how many times...
And then I got my first taste at how crazy the airport REALLY is...
They announced a lost item practically every 20 min (I was sitting there for almost 2 hours). And then, get this... And then, the mother whom was sitting behind me, actually asked me if I could watch her child while she ran to do whatever she had to do "real quick". Ummm.... Either she's crazy, or I just looked sweet enough to not kidnap her kid.
Book in hand. After reading and re-reading the SAME page a gazillion times (concentration was no where to be found), it was finally boarding time. Finally? Errrr.... ::queasy stomach::
I got in line after the "A" folks were called....
again, frantic about making sure I got my OWN seat, because I am indeed claustrophobic, and I HAD to have a window seat sitting on the wing (I researched this right after I booked my flight online. Not only that, but I always like to SEE what's coming. I wanna know if I'm about to die, not be out of the loop because I sat in an aisle seat).
Marking my territory, my eyes burned a hole in MY seat as I shimmied down that aisle. I sat down, and took the deepest breath evarrrr.
"Ohh," I thought, "YAY! They actually have a mini safety brochure!" :: opens and begins to read :: Concentrate. Concentrate. NOPE. Couldn't find it in me. I was much too nervous about what was about to come... Take off. "Great. So if the plane crashes, I'm dead, simply because I can't seem to concentrate on the survival guide. Perfect."
The flight attendant came down the aisle and reminded everyone to put all carry-on's under the seat. This literally took me 10 minutes to figure this out... don't ask.
::DING DING::
It was time.
The flight attendants took their, I would assume, regular positions, and began to go over what I was trying so desperately to read in the survival guide. "YES!!" I thought, "This is perfect for my overtly visual-self."
WRONG.
They went over everything so fast, it looked like they were doing a new and "improved" version of the Macarena. I had NO idea where they were pointing, or what the heck they were saying. -- THIS was because I didn't realize I was getting blasted in the face by the mini AC bulb right above me. IT took me FOREVER to find this stupid thing, and then it took me FOREVER to figure out WHY the heck it was taking my breath away. I was too scared to touch anything above me, because I had no idea what button was for what operation. With my luck, I'd push a button and start a fire. Who knows?!?!
For those that really and truly know me, I overreact A LOT, and I always assume the worst (and most bizarre situation). I was too scared to ask, because I mean c'mon what 24 year has NEVER flown a plane?? I'm sure I'm not the only one, but after only 5 minutes, it was pretty clear to me that I was the ONLY first time flyer on THAT plane.
I heard the engines, and all of a sudden, we actually began to move. Backwards at that. At this point, I was kicking myself in the butt, because I sat on the WRONG side of the plane. Because we left at dawn, the sun was literally blinding me, and my window was drenched in dew, so any visual confirmation was literally out the window. Go figure.
I said a little prayer, and asked God to fly the plane, and to get me safely to Tampa.
Faster and faster the plane barreled down the run way, and faster and faster my heart began to beat out of my chest. I gripped my arm rest, dug my feet into the floor, and engraved my back to the seat. I couldn't believe the time had actually come.
And just like that, I was flying.
Phew. Okay.
Alive? Check.
Raising pulse? Check.
Sanity? Check.
I looked over and saw the lady across from me sleeping like she was at home, relaxed in her king size bed.
"Whaaaa??? How can people sleep so comfortably on a PLANE of all places???" For various reasons, I pondered this question... and then after a good chunk of time went by without us be hijacked, losing a wing, or the burnout of a engine, I figured I'd take a mini snooze myself...
All was good.
Until of course, the turbulence took a slight dive, and startled me.
I looked out the window, and I saw a blanket of pure white clouds...
I looked a little deeper, and focused and re-focused my eyes... Land is green, brown, and sometimes yellow... why was THIS ground dark blue??? OH EM GEE. We're flying over the WATER???? THE OCEAN??? The ocean that's full of sharks deadlier than Jaws himself??? I tried to think back at what the flight attendant said about using the life vest... AHHH! I couldn't remember. Then I began to think of how good I used to be at treading water back when I swam in high school... okay... I can survive endurance wise, at least until help arrived. Then I thought of every stupid movie that viciously tortured its viewers with deadly shark attacks scenes.
And right then and there... AHHH what a VIEW!!!
Got my camera out, and WOW. I haven't seen water this blue, EVARRRR!
Tampa Bay was GORGEOUS!
THIS was the peace I needed, and it came at the perfect time.
I was mesmerized by the depths of the ocean... the dark blue, the light blue, the yachts, the curve of the Bay...
it was great!
After circling Tampa Bay for a good forever, we landed, and thanks to Tampa's small airport, I was at my next gate, across the other side of the airport in less than 5 min. It was a good day...so far.
Boarded my flight to RDU, and we were off. Believe, it or not, flying over the ocean was my peace of mind.
And then it began.
Turbulence. The worst turbulence evarrrrrrr!
I seriously thought I was either going to hurl, or pass out.
I looked out the window, and it was like I was on the world's my traumatic see-saw.
Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
Then we took what I thought was a serious nose-dive, and I dove right into the back seat of the little old lady in front of me. I hit/grabbed her seat so hard, I could have given her a heart attack! I popped up, and everyone seemed to be okay, yet here I was freaking out like we were diving straight to our death. I turned around to reassure the 15 year old behind me that I was okay, and it was just my first flight ever. (why he needed to know this information is beyond me, but to save my idiocy, I felt the need to tell SOMEBODY)
What.a.loser.
We finally boarded and I burnt out of that airport so fast!
Time spent in NC was nice. I always love to go. Its just a different lifestyle than here in Houston. Different pace of life. Def a breath of fresh air. And photographic possibilities everywhere you turn! Love it! (unfortunately, I was too scurred to bring my DSLR, so I brought my point and shoot instead. boo.)
The time had to come to return home. I sat at my gate, and waited to board my flight to Orlando aka "House of the Mouse." OOHHH! This should be fun!
Not really.
I had somehow met my match of frantic flyers...
An 8 or 9 year old little girl.
First off, this time, I was in the "B" flyers, and I promise you, there were at least 50 billion "A" flyers. I boarded the plane, and couldn't find a SINGLE window seat left. I kept walking and walking, and before I knew it, I was at the VERY back of the plane.
Hmmm, sit next to THIS couple, or sit next to this seemingly potential chatter box (who ended up to be just that)? Ehh, that's what headphones are for. I'll just stuff those in my ears, and close my eyes, and pretend to sleep, so I won't be bothered. At least, they'll be a seat of "breathable air" beside of me, and THAT is what's most important.
Then all of a sudden, a mother with her daughter came scooting down the aisle...
There was no room for the two of them to sit together. There was however an empty seat between me and Ms. Chatter Box.
The little girl walked up to me with puppy dog eyes, and asked very politely if she could sit in my seat so she could be directly across the aisle from her mother.
Um. Okay, let me try and explain. Sitting by the window is safe for me, because even though there is a window separating me from the outside world, at least I can SEE the outside world...because duh, the earth is like a HUGE oxygen tank. So claustrophobia wasn't going to be an issue. However, when I'm sitting in an aisle seat, I'm surround by the 4 walls of this tiny plane, plus the zillions of people already on the plane. THAT permits a problem.
So you bet your buns, I told that little girl, in my most polite and sweet voice, "NO." Yes, I said no. And I apologized. Sorry kiddo, my sanity is much more important than your crying tears. K. Thanks.
This girl cried a river...not wait, she cried an ocean. I tried talking to her, and telling her how it was my first time flying, and that I have a child of my own, and that we would stick together...
Girlfriend did not care.
Mother saw this, and quickly went to get the flight attendant to see if he could arrange something else. So OF COURSE, right before take off, when EVERYBODY had already sat down and got comfortable, I, ME, of ALL the 50 billion people on that plane, was called out, and asked to move. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? SERIOUSLY???? UGH. This little brat!!!!! I wanted to trip her AND her mom! I sucked it up, swallowed the lump in my throat, and sat down next to the couple I hesitated to sit with before.
After about an hour, I looked over at the girl, and she was STILL crying.
My heart began to ache for her, so much that her tears were ALMOST contagious. All I could think was what if that was Aislynn? (although I'm almost positive Aislynn would have the time of her life) I felt horrible that I had been that way towards her. We finally landed, and she was still in a frantic daze. I bet she couldn't wait to get off that plane...just as I did first when landing in RDU. Poor baby. Bless her heart. And bless mine for being such a meanie sour puss.
Next time, I fly, I know the precautions to take.
And hopefully, next time I fly, I'll have somebody to chat it up with to keep me occupied.
I can't imagine flying to Hawaii or Spain. Goodness. How in the world does someone stay on a plane for 10+ hours??? Brave souls, I tell ya.
Maybe one day that will be me...
Sharks, tears, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
[[Saturday's is all about the many and mini adventures of the Ayala's. Something is ALWAYS happening to us. ALWAYS. This, however makes life exciting. A life of "excitement" my husband never had until he put a ring on it. HA!]]
Flying.
Before April of this year, I hadn't been on a plane since the sandbox ages, in which I hurled my most recent meal into a paper bag. I don't remember this, but my mother sure does.
April 2010.
I went to NC.
On a plane.
By myself. (yes I'm 24 yrs old, but who's counting???)
[[Took a picture of my napkin.]]
The early morning of my flight out to RDU, my dad and hubby dropped me off. Yes, all the way to the security gate. (don't laugh.) I was deathly scared of getting on the wrong flight (of course if I landed in Hawaii or somewhere tropical, that'd be a different story).
First off, I had to UNpack everything I had JUST packed ever so neatly in my little carry on. UGH.
Seriously. And then I HAD to take off my shoes and walk barefoot on that shanasty cold floor??? Are you kidding me??? GROSS! Okay...better than getting arrested, I guess. I waved goodbye, and fought the tears. (yes, I was THIS emotional)
I found my gate, and sat down.
All while waiting to board my flight, I wondered if I was even at the RIGHT gate, even after checking and double checking, and triple checking, making sure my weary eyes were not deceiving me and that I DID indeed know how to read numbers correctly. I looked at my pass, then looked at the gate, then looked at the monitor. And repeated this, I dunno how many times...
And then I got my first taste at how crazy the airport REALLY is...
They announced a lost item practically every 20 min (I was sitting there for almost 2 hours). And then, get this... And then, the mother whom was sitting behind me, actually asked me if I could watch her child while she ran to do whatever she had to do "real quick". Ummm.... Either she's crazy, or I just looked sweet enough to not kidnap her kid.
Book in hand. After reading and re-reading the SAME page a gazillion times (concentration was no where to be found), it was finally boarding time. Finally? Errrr.... ::queasy stomach::
I got in line after the "A" folks were called....
again, frantic about making sure I got my OWN seat, because I am indeed claustrophobic, and I HAD to have a window seat sitting on the wing (I researched this right after I booked my flight online. Not only that, but I always like to SEE what's coming. I wanna know if I'm about to die, not be out of the loop because I sat in an aisle seat).
Marking my territory, my eyes burned a hole in MY seat as I shimmied down that aisle. I sat down, and took the deepest breath evarrrr.
"Ohh," I thought, "YAY! They actually have a mini safety brochure!" :: opens and begins to read :: Concentrate. Concentrate. NOPE. Couldn't find it in me. I was much too nervous about what was about to come... Take off. "Great. So if the plane crashes, I'm dead, simply because I can't seem to concentrate on the survival guide. Perfect."
The flight attendant came down the aisle and reminded everyone to put all carry-on's under the seat. This literally took me 10 minutes to figure this out... don't ask.
::DING DING::
It was time.
The flight attendants took their, I would assume, regular positions, and began to go over what I was trying so desperately to read in the survival guide. "YES!!" I thought, "This is perfect for my overtly visual-self."
WRONG.
They went over everything so fast, it looked like they were doing a new and "improved" version of the Macarena. I had NO idea where they were pointing, or what the heck they were saying. -- THIS was because I didn't realize I was getting blasted in the face by the mini AC bulb right above me. IT took me FOREVER to find this stupid thing, and then it took me FOREVER to figure out WHY the heck it was taking my breath away. I was too scared to touch anything above me, because I had no idea what button was for what operation. With my luck, I'd push a button and start a fire. Who knows?!?!
For those that really and truly know me, I overreact A LOT, and I always assume the worst (and most bizarre situation). I was too scared to ask, because I mean c'mon what 24 year has NEVER flown a plane?? I'm sure I'm not the only one, but after only 5 minutes, it was pretty clear to me that I was the ONLY first time flyer on THAT plane.
I heard the engines, and all of a sudden, we actually began to move. Backwards at that. At this point, I was kicking myself in the butt, because I sat on the WRONG side of the plane. Because we left at dawn, the sun was literally blinding me, and my window was drenched in dew, so any visual confirmation was literally out the window. Go figure.
I said a little prayer, and asked God to fly the plane, and to get me safely to Tampa.
Faster and faster the plane barreled down the run way, and faster and faster my heart began to beat out of my chest. I gripped my arm rest, dug my feet into the floor, and engraved my back to the seat. I couldn't believe the time had actually come.
And just like that, I was flying.
Phew. Okay.
Alive? Check.
Raising pulse? Check.
Sanity? Check.
I looked over and saw the lady across from me sleeping like she was at home, relaxed in her king size bed.
"Whaaaa??? How can people sleep so comfortably on a PLANE of all places???" For various reasons, I pondered this question... and then after a good chunk of time went by without us be hijacked, losing a wing, or the burnout of a engine, I figured I'd take a mini snooze myself...
All was good.
Until of course, the turbulence took a slight dive, and startled me.
I looked out the window, and I saw a blanket of pure white clouds...
I looked a little deeper, and focused and re-focused my eyes... Land is green, brown, and sometimes yellow... why was THIS ground dark blue??? OH EM GEE. We're flying over the WATER???? THE OCEAN??? The ocean that's full of sharks deadlier than Jaws himself??? I tried to think back at what the flight attendant said about using the life vest... AHHH! I couldn't remember. Then I began to think of how good I used to be at treading water back when I swam in high school... okay... I can survive endurance wise, at least until help arrived. Then I thought of every stupid movie that viciously tortured its viewers with deadly shark attacks scenes.
And right then and there... AHHH what a VIEW!!!
Got my camera out, and WOW. I haven't seen water this blue, EVARRRR!
Tampa Bay was GORGEOUS!
THIS was the peace I needed, and it came at the perfect time.
I was mesmerized by the depths of the ocean... the dark blue, the light blue, the yachts, the curve of the Bay...
it was great!
[[Tampa Bay, Florida.]]
After circling Tampa Bay for a good forever, we landed, and thanks to Tampa's small airport, I was at my next gate, across the other side of the airport in less than 5 min. It was a good day...so far.
Boarded my flight to RDU, and we were off. Believe, it or not, flying over the ocean was my peace of mind.
And then it began.
Turbulence. The worst turbulence evarrrrrrr!
I seriously thought I was either going to hurl, or pass out.
I looked out the window, and it was like I was on the world's my traumatic see-saw.
Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
Then we took what I thought was a serious nose-dive, and I dove right into the back seat of the little old lady in front of me. I hit/grabbed her seat so hard, I could have given her a heart attack! I popped up, and everyone seemed to be okay, yet here I was freaking out like we were diving straight to our death. I turned around to reassure the 15 year old behind me that I was okay, and it was just my first flight ever. (why he needed to know this information is beyond me, but to save my idiocy, I felt the need to tell SOMEBODY)
What.a.loser.
We finally boarded and I burnt out of that airport so fast!
Time spent in NC was nice. I always love to go. Its just a different lifestyle than here in Houston. Different pace of life. Def a breath of fresh air. And photographic possibilities everywhere you turn! Love it! (unfortunately, I was too scurred to bring my DSLR, so I brought my point and shoot instead. boo.)
The time had to come to return home. I sat at my gate, and waited to board my flight to Orlando aka "House of the Mouse." OOHHH! This should be fun!
Not really.
I had somehow met my match of frantic flyers...
An 8 or 9 year old little girl.
First off, this time, I was in the "B" flyers, and I promise you, there were at least 50 billion "A" flyers. I boarded the plane, and couldn't find a SINGLE window seat left. I kept walking and walking, and before I knew it, I was at the VERY back of the plane.
Hmmm, sit next to THIS couple, or sit next to this seemingly potential chatter box (who ended up to be just that)? Ehh, that's what headphones are for. I'll just stuff those in my ears, and close my eyes, and pretend to sleep, so I won't be bothered. At least, they'll be a seat of "breathable air" beside of me, and THAT is what's most important.
Then all of a sudden, a mother with her daughter came scooting down the aisle...
There was no room for the two of them to sit together. There was however an empty seat between me and Ms. Chatter Box.
The little girl walked up to me with puppy dog eyes, and asked very politely if she could sit in my seat so she could be directly across the aisle from her mother.
Um. Okay, let me try and explain. Sitting by the window is safe for me, because even though there is a window separating me from the outside world, at least I can SEE the outside world...because duh, the earth is like a HUGE oxygen tank. So claustrophobia wasn't going to be an issue. However, when I'm sitting in an aisle seat, I'm surround by the 4 walls of this tiny plane, plus the zillions of people already on the plane. THAT permits a problem.
So you bet your buns, I told that little girl, in my most polite and sweet voice, "NO." Yes, I said no. And I apologized. Sorry kiddo, my sanity is much more important than your crying tears. K. Thanks.
This girl cried a river...not wait, she cried an ocean. I tried talking to her, and telling her how it was my first time flying, and that I have a child of my own, and that we would stick together...
Girlfriend did not care.
Mother saw this, and quickly went to get the flight attendant to see if he could arrange something else. So OF COURSE, right before take off, when EVERYBODY had already sat down and got comfortable, I, ME, of ALL the 50 billion people on that plane, was called out, and asked to move. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? SERIOUSLY???? UGH. This little brat!!!!! I wanted to trip her AND her mom! I sucked it up, swallowed the lump in my throat, and sat down next to the couple I hesitated to sit with before.
After about an hour, I looked over at the girl, and she was STILL crying.
My heart began to ache for her, so much that her tears were ALMOST contagious. All I could think was what if that was Aislynn? (although I'm almost positive Aislynn would have the time of her life) I felt horrible that I had been that way towards her. We finally landed, and she was still in a frantic daze. I bet she couldn't wait to get off that plane...just as I did first when landing in RDU. Poor baby. Bless her heart. And bless mine for being such a meanie sour puss.
Next time, I fly, I know the precautions to take.
And hopefully, next time I fly, I'll have somebody to chat it up with to keep me occupied.
I can't imagine flying to Hawaii or Spain. Goodness. How in the world does someone stay on a plane for 10+ hours??? Brave souls, I tell ya.
Maybe one day that will be me...
Sharks, tears, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Morning Prayer | Holy Rollin' to Heaven's Gates Sunday
[[Sunday's are all about scripture, prayer, and all things Holy! Blessed, Sunday to you all!]]
__________________________________________
"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11 (NIV)
It is very early in the morning. Not many people are stirring yet.
Though my body begs me just to roll over and go back to sleep, my soul is stirring to get up and go sit with Jesus.
Though I can't physically see Him, I know He is present.
I decide to open my Bible to the Psalms and use the verses I read as prayers to start my day.
And the more I pray those verses out loud the less I hear all the nagging things of the world. A beautiful melody of truth starts to rise up and suddenly my worries fade in the light of God's truth.
His perspective on things that are troubling me starts to over shadow my anxiety. Like shade on a hot summer's day, I feel relief in His presence.
I know that He is preparing me for what I will need throughout this day. He is already standing in every minute of my day and He sees what I will face. So, He's equipping me to be able to handle what is ahead of me with His gentle boldness, quiet strength, and loving grace.
In Psalm 81:10b, God instructs me, "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." He will give me what to say today. What to say in happy moments. What to say in aggravating moments. What to say in moments where I feel insecure and what to say when I feel completely confident. What to say in disappointing moments. What to say in response to questions.
He also reminds me that sometimes it is good to keep my mouth closed and say nothing at all.
All the words that rumble about in my brain and those that will proceed out of my mouth, Lord, You be the author of those.
Psalm 84:1 reminds me that God's dwelling place is lovely. So, I ask God to dwell in me richly. I want Him to be what radiates about me. I want Him to be my pretty today.
Not my hair. Not my outfit. Not my efforts. But simply Him and His spirit dancing invisibly about me... shifting a wrong attitude, guarding my words, and whispering constant truths into my heart.
Psalm 86:11 is what I ask the Lord to give me. "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart..."
Lord, may nothing separate me from You today. Teach me how to choose only Your way today so each step will lead me closer to You. Help me walk by the truth and not my feelings.
Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words and actions. And keep me from being distracted by MY wants, MY desires, MY thoughts on how things should be.
Help me to embrace what comes my way as an opportunity...rather than a personal inconvenience.
And finally, help me to rest in the truth of Psalm 86:13a, "Great is your love toward me."
You already see all the many ways I will surely fall short and mess up. But right now, I consciously tuck Your whisper of absolute love for me into the deepest part of my heart. I recognize Your love for me is not based on my performance. You love me warts and all.
Have mercy, that's amazing.
But what's most amazing is that the God of the Universe, the Savior of the world, would desire a few minutes with me this morning. Lord, help me to forever remember what a gift it is to sit with You like this. "
-- http://www.proverbs31.org/
XoXo
-Casey <3
__________________________________________
"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11 (NIV)
It is very early in the morning. Not many people are stirring yet.
Though my body begs me just to roll over and go back to sleep, my soul is stirring to get up and go sit with Jesus.
Though I can't physically see Him, I know He is present.
I decide to open my Bible to the Psalms and use the verses I read as prayers to start my day.
And the more I pray those verses out loud the less I hear all the nagging things of the world. A beautiful melody of truth starts to rise up and suddenly my worries fade in the light of God's truth.
His perspective on things that are troubling me starts to over shadow my anxiety. Like shade on a hot summer's day, I feel relief in His presence.
I know that He is preparing me for what I will need throughout this day. He is already standing in every minute of my day and He sees what I will face. So, He's equipping me to be able to handle what is ahead of me with His gentle boldness, quiet strength, and loving grace.
In Psalm 81:10b, God instructs me, "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." He will give me what to say today. What to say in happy moments. What to say in aggravating moments. What to say in moments where I feel insecure and what to say when I feel completely confident. What to say in disappointing moments. What to say in response to questions.
He also reminds me that sometimes it is good to keep my mouth closed and say nothing at all.
All the words that rumble about in my brain and those that will proceed out of my mouth, Lord, You be the author of those.
Psalm 84:1 reminds me that God's dwelling place is lovely. So, I ask God to dwell in me richly. I want Him to be what radiates about me. I want Him to be my pretty today.
Not my hair. Not my outfit. Not my efforts. But simply Him and His spirit dancing invisibly about me... shifting a wrong attitude, guarding my words, and whispering constant truths into my heart.
Psalm 86:11 is what I ask the Lord to give me. "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart..."
Lord, may nothing separate me from You today. Teach me how to choose only Your way today so each step will lead me closer to You. Help me walk by the truth and not my feelings.
Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words and actions. And keep me from being distracted by MY wants, MY desires, MY thoughts on how things should be.
Help me to embrace what comes my way as an opportunity...rather than a personal inconvenience.
And finally, help me to rest in the truth of Psalm 86:13a, "Great is your love toward me."
You already see all the many ways I will surely fall short and mess up. But right now, I consciously tuck Your whisper of absolute love for me into the deepest part of my heart. I recognize Your love for me is not based on my performance. You love me warts and all.
Have mercy, that's amazing.
But what's most amazing is that the God of the Universe, the Savior of the world, would desire a few minutes with me this morning. Lord, help me to forever remember what a gift it is to sit with You like this. "
___________________________________________________
XoXo
-Casey <3
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Life in the Fat Lane | Fat Girl Slim Friday
Many of you who know me, today, didn't exactly know me, yesterday.
I swam competitively for 6 years, danced for 2, and was even 2 weeks away from shipping out to Parris Island, SC. (Marine boot camp training). YEP! You read right...the MARINES. (this is an entirely different blog...one that will have to wait until Tuesday, bc it was DEF an experience). Going into high school, I weighed about ohhhh 125 lbs, but I was built according to one of my classmates like a football player. One even went as far as to ask me if I was interested in joining the football team. Umm say whatt??? First of all, I don't like football (sorry, folks. just never been a fan.) Second of all, I'm a girl...a girly girl who more than likely throws like a girl. (but, don't put a gun in my hand though. I'll soot dead on. Real talk.)
Sidetrack for a second...
Hair is VERY important to me. VERY important. And I know I've said this before, but the Paul Mitchell School was def 2nd choice aside from the Art Institute. From Kindergarten, my mother used to spend half an hour blow drying and styling my hair every morning, and as I got older, I became the blow dryer queen. (thankfully the CHI was soon invented!! Can I get an AMEN?!) I didn't care how long I took doing my hair, as long as it looked fabulous. I took pride in my hair. (still do, might I add. You won't see me rocking the same hairstyle twice. real talk.)
[[BACK ON TRACK, BTW]]
So in 9th grade, my entire 1st semester of my freshman year, I could only enjoy my beautiful one hour maintenance of a hair style for a grand total of the ENTIRE trip to school. (loser, I know). THEN when second semester came, I enjoyed it for all of 1st period. THIS was already hard on me, and my safety net was gone. POOF. Just like that. Just like my hair. (it was a poof after swim practice) I mean, c'mon this was my very first year of high school, I've gotta have some kind of physical safety net right???
It was my hair.
Although, I looked as if I could have tried out for the football team, my hair was pretty much the only thing tying me to the girly girl side of me. This was to show everyone that I was prim and proper despite my broad shoulders. (keep in mind this was before there were such things as Tomb Raider and Salt...the tough girls who kicked everyone's butt. At the time, it was allll about the girly girls in Hollywood. And sadly enough, I looked up to this...)
Okay, so there's one issue...
Then comes my weight. Unfortunately, around this time, Beyonce and JLo weren't exactly around, and if they were, they're weren't as big as they are now (no pun intended. promise.) Today, society has really only began to embrace "BIG IS BEAUTIFUL," and "Bootylicious." Which I totallyyyyy get. Don't get me wrong, we're ALL beautiful, but are we all healthy? We ain't gonna be so beautiful when we're 6ft under ground because of our bad eating habits, now are we? (I had to come to terms with this possibility) So anyway, I didn't have any "curvy" role models to look up, and embrace. Britney Spears KILLED me with those abs. DANG! And Christina Aguilera...girlfriend needed a cheeseburger.
In high school, I wanted to be like the thin tiny girls. The ones that looked like VS models (back then). At the time, Forever 21 had THE UGLIEST clothes EVARRR, so there was DEF nothing motivating about shopping there. (unlike today, the have the CUTEST maternity clothes!! You bet I'ma be spending baby daddy's money THERE (when the time comes of course)! hehe) I was always trying to be thin. But really, I wasn't trying at all. I exercised, yeah, but after not being able to wear certain outfits due to my "muscular figure", I gave up on exercising period, because it wasn't doing anything, but helping me GAIN muscle, and till this day I gain it easily. T-shirts and jeans became my "pretty" clothes. And THIS is where I became comfortable...
Before I took my trip to Prego-ville, I had not a single stretch mark nor a single sign of cellulite. (I also had no top half, but whateverrrr) And throughout my pregnancy, I couldn't believe how other women had it so horrible. Mine was so PERFECT. Aislynn never beat me up, and sleeping was literally a dream come true. I hurled a total of 3 times, and I fit into my pre-prego clothes allllll the way up until I was 6th months.
So what happened? I got my first stretch mark. I remember this quite vividly, too. Jr was sitting on the bed in our room, and I was just getting out of the shower, toweling off, and then that's where I saw IT. My very first battle scar. I didn't just cry, I wept. Jr quickly made a mid-night run to get some of that nonsense stretch mark cream (which I unfortunately couldn't stand the smell). With me trying not to breathe, he rubbed it on my one battle scar. I figured not breathing was MUCH better than having THAT ugly THING on my thigh! before I knew it, those THINGS spread like wildfire, and I before I knew it, I had gained 20lbs just in my last month of pregnancy. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know what preeclampsia was (which, I now believe I had, because after reading every symptom, it was like that WebMD was talking to ME). Luckily, I had no complications because of it, other than having to have an emergency c-section (which again, is another completely different blog post, which I'll save for when you love me enough to read through it. Not ready to torture you quite yet.) (btw. my doctor was def not the best, but he was what insurance covered. Sadly, I learned more about my pregnancy from books, than I did him.)
My 9th month...
the (weeeee early) morning of my labor... 231 lbs.
(I thought something was seriouslyyyy wrong with their scale, because I was just 220 my last doctor's visit, THAT WEEK.)
1 month after Aislynn's delivery...
there I was 200+ lbs.
(Due to the swelling or horrific c-section recovery,I hadn't realized I lost 30lbs. And when I mean horrific, I mean horrific. I was in the hospital for 5 days.Worst pain of my ENTIRE being. And that goes with saying that one of my contractions (while not on drugs) went literally OFF the charts (real talk.) I blame my c-section on my possible unknown preeclampsia)
Recovery was horrible. It completely shot any motivation I had to lose the baby weight. I mean, I couldn't even pick up a gallon of milk. Heck, I couldn't even REALLY pick up Aislynn (I unfortunately missed out on holding her the way I had hoped and dreamed). Then postpartum depression hit. (THIS, I do NOT believe in. Today, I KNOW for a fact it was the enemy praying on my weak spirit, and for a while there, boy, did he succeed.)
So with alllll of this going on amongst well you know, just becoming a new full time mother and all... I began to eat my feelings...to stuff my face with the emotions. At the time, God wasn't in my life the way He is, today, so instead of seeking HIM, I sought after the most tastiest goodies I could get my chunky little hands on. (pre-prego, I wore a ring size of 4.5. Now, its a 7) Never thought twice about it. Why? Because it made me happy. Simple as that.
Okay...fast forward 3 years.
Just as I crowned myself the "Typo Queen", I have a second title (one that might even be first).
I am the "Yo-Yo Dieter Queen!" I kid you not, with all the weight I have lost since my pregnancy, I'd be thinner than I was BEFORE I even got pregnant. Kid.you.not. That's sad. That really really is. And, not to mention, is super unhealthy. You think Oprah's yo-yo dieting is bad??? Errr no. Oprah ain't got a thing on me! ::pft::
So here, I am, today.
Addicted.
Just like a drug, just like pornography, just like social networking, and so on and so forth.
I am an addict.
It wasn't until recently, I accepted this.
And it wasn't without the Lord's help.
Before I was blinded.
Now, He has opened my eyes.
Will I pass or fail?
That is THE question?
Can I live with letting HIM down?
Can I live with letting my daughter down? My husband down?
Can I live with letting MYSELF down?
The answer is simple, sure. Cute face. Chubby waist.
Right??? They will love me even if the scale doesn't.
WRONG.
I have an addiction. One that NEEDS to be broken, before it breaks me like it has already tried.
And its getting close, but how far will I let it go? How much longer am I to live like this? I can only imagine the world that is waiting out there for me, if I just could just manage to get HEALTHY. Not thin, but healthy.
So here I am, today...
Beginning yet another journey.
I've tried countless other ones...but with the wrong motive.
I don't wanna be THIN. I like having a tush. I like being able to fill out the bras I never could.
I don't however, want my high school figure back. In fact, I don't want any part of high school, PERIOD, to return. Those days are gone, and so is that person.
I am me, today.
Right here, right now.
Battling this ADDICTION.
And honestly...
I can honestly say, that because of my weight, I am a better person INSIDE. I treat people better. I love them for who they are, and not what they look like. Being vain is a thing of the past. I don't understand what people think they can possibly gain in life by making fun of others? I pity them. I pray for them. Because I know how sad and lonely their heart truly is. Yeah, I've been there, and sadly, I've done that. We are ALL beautiful people, no matter the color of our skin, the background of our life, the shape of our mid-section. We were ALL created in HIS image. He loves us unconditionally, so why do we treat people otherwise?
We've all got battles that many do not know of, so don't judge, but instead encourage.
Just because your battle isn't MY battle, doesn't excuse the fact that it is indeed, in some way, shape, or form, a BATTLE. Lift others up rather than beat them down. LOVE them as Jesus would.
To some, losing weight is easy. To me, someone who for most of my life, tried to gain FAT rather than muscle, its hard. VERY hard. Never having to go on a TRUE "diet", leaves me trying new things...especially now that my body is different (this happens after you give birth to a live human being), so its gonna take some time and a whole'lotta prayer.
What might seem easy to you, might be hard for me. And what might seem hard to you, may be easy to me. Addiction is addiction. Its a process of first coming to terms with it, and then its a process of healing, and then everyday is a "battle." My addiction may not be YOUR addiction. And your addiction may not be MY addiction.
So...
This is my journey.
This is my process.
My new day.
My new start.
My new song.
This is my battle.
And this is my VICTORY.
Hope you'll join me!
Fab hair, muscles, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
I swam competitively for 6 years, danced for 2, and was even 2 weeks away from shipping out to Parris Island, SC. (Marine boot camp training). YEP! You read right...the MARINES. (this is an entirely different blog...one that will have to wait until Tuesday, bc it was DEF an experience). Going into high school, I weighed about ohhhh 125 lbs, but I was built according to one of my classmates like a football player. One even went as far as to ask me if I was interested in joining the football team. Umm say whatt??? First of all, I don't like football (sorry, folks. just never been a fan.) Second of all, I'm a girl...a girly girl who more than likely throws like a girl. (but, don't put a gun in my hand though. I'll soot dead on. Real talk.)
Sidetrack for a second...
Hair is VERY important to me. VERY important. And I know I've said this before, but the Paul Mitchell School was def 2nd choice aside from the Art Institute. From Kindergarten, my mother used to spend half an hour blow drying and styling my hair every morning, and as I got older, I became the blow dryer queen. (thankfully the CHI was soon invented!! Can I get an AMEN?!) I didn't care how long I took doing my hair, as long as it looked fabulous. I took pride in my hair. (still do, might I add. You won't see me rocking the same hairstyle twice. real talk.)
[[BACK ON TRACK, BTW]]
So in 9th grade, my entire 1st semester of my freshman year, I could only enjoy my beautiful one hour maintenance of a hair style for a grand total of the ENTIRE trip to school. (loser, I know). THEN when second semester came, I enjoyed it for all of 1st period. THIS was already hard on me, and my safety net was gone. POOF. Just like that. Just like my hair. (it was a poof after swim practice) I mean, c'mon this was my very first year of high school, I've gotta have some kind of physical safety net right???
It was my hair.
Although, I looked as if I could have tried out for the football team, my hair was pretty much the only thing tying me to the girly girl side of me. This was to show everyone that I was prim and proper despite my broad shoulders. (keep in mind this was before there were such things as Tomb Raider and Salt...the tough girls who kicked everyone's butt. At the time, it was allll about the girly girls in Hollywood. And sadly enough, I looked up to this...)
Okay, so there's one issue...
Then comes my weight. Unfortunately, around this time, Beyonce and JLo weren't exactly around, and if they were, they're weren't as big as they are now (no pun intended. promise.) Today, society has really only began to embrace "BIG IS BEAUTIFUL," and "Bootylicious." Which I totallyyyyy get. Don't get me wrong, we're ALL beautiful, but are we all healthy? We ain't gonna be so beautiful when we're 6ft under ground because of our bad eating habits, now are we? (I had to come to terms with this possibility) So anyway, I didn't have any "curvy" role models to look up, and embrace. Britney Spears KILLED me with those abs. DANG! And Christina Aguilera...girlfriend needed a cheeseburger.
In high school, I wanted to be like the thin tiny girls. The ones that looked like VS models (back then). At the time, Forever 21 had THE UGLIEST clothes EVARRR, so there was DEF nothing motivating about shopping there. (unlike today, the have the CUTEST maternity clothes!! You bet I'ma be spending baby daddy's money THERE (when the time comes of course)! hehe) I was always trying to be thin. But really, I wasn't trying at all. I exercised, yeah, but after not being able to wear certain outfits due to my "muscular figure", I gave up on exercising period, because it wasn't doing anything, but helping me GAIN muscle, and till this day I gain it easily. T-shirts and jeans became my "pretty" clothes. And THIS is where I became comfortable...
(Top: 11th Grade
Bottom: Senior Year '04
Pant Size: 11/13
Weight: 135-140)
(Why I NEVER wore dresses.
Dianne, I love you, but not me in this pic. lol
Senior Year '04)
Before I took my trip to Prego-ville, I had not a single stretch mark nor a single sign of cellulite. (I also had no top half, but whateverrrr) And throughout my pregnancy, I couldn't believe how other women had it so horrible. Mine was so PERFECT. Aislynn never beat me up, and sleeping was literally a dream come true. I hurled a total of 3 times, and I fit into my pre-prego clothes allllll the way up until I was 6th months.
So what happened? I got my first stretch mark. I remember this quite vividly, too. Jr was sitting on the bed in our room, and I was just getting out of the shower, toweling off, and then that's where I saw IT. My very first battle scar. I didn't just cry, I wept. Jr quickly made a mid-night run to get some of that nonsense stretch mark cream (which I unfortunately couldn't stand the smell). With me trying not to breathe, he rubbed it on my one battle scar. I figured not breathing was MUCH better than having THAT ugly THING on my thigh! before I knew it, those THINGS spread like wildfire, and I before I knew it, I had gained 20lbs just in my last month of pregnancy. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know what preeclampsia was (which, I now believe I had, because after reading every symptom, it was like that WebMD was talking to ME). Luckily, I had no complications because of it, other than having to have an emergency c-section (which again, is another completely different blog post, which I'll save for when you love me enough to read through it. Not ready to torture you quite yet.) (btw. my doctor was def not the best, but he was what insurance covered. Sadly, I learned more about my pregnancy from books, than I did him.)
My 9th month...
the (weeeee early) morning of my labor... 231 lbs.
(I thought something was seriouslyyyy wrong with their scale, because I was just 220 my last doctor's visit, THAT WEEK.)
1 month after Aislynn's delivery...
there I was 200+ lbs.
(Due to the swelling or horrific c-section recovery,I hadn't realized I lost 30lbs. And when I mean horrific, I mean horrific. I was in the hospital for 5 days.Worst pain of my ENTIRE being. And that goes with saying that one of my contractions (while not on drugs) went literally OFF the charts (real talk.) I blame my c-section on my possible unknown preeclampsia)
Recovery was horrible. It completely shot any motivation I had to lose the baby weight. I mean, I couldn't even pick up a gallon of milk. Heck, I couldn't even REALLY pick up Aislynn (I unfortunately missed out on holding her the way I had hoped and dreamed). Then postpartum depression hit. (THIS, I do NOT believe in. Today, I KNOW for a fact it was the enemy praying on my weak spirit, and for a while there, boy, did he succeed.)
So with alllll of this going on amongst well you know, just becoming a new full time mother and all... I began to eat my feelings...to stuff my face with the emotions. At the time, God wasn't in my life the way He is, today, so instead of seeking HIM, I sought after the most tastiest goodies I could get my chunky little hands on. (pre-prego, I wore a ring size of 4.5. Now, its a 7) Never thought twice about it. Why? Because it made me happy. Simple as that.
(Early 2008.
Me @ my heaviest weight. 235+
I stopped getting on the scale after this number, so I dunno for certain how much I weighed, here. Anyone wanna take a guess??? LOL)
I stopped getting on the scale after this number, so I dunno for certain how much I weighed, here. Anyone wanna take a guess??? LOL)
Okay...fast forward 3 years.
Just as I crowned myself the "Typo Queen", I have a second title (one that might even be first).
I am the "Yo-Yo Dieter Queen!" I kid you not, with all the weight I have lost since my pregnancy, I'd be thinner than I was BEFORE I even got pregnant. Kid.you.not. That's sad. That really really is. And, not to mention, is super unhealthy. You think Oprah's yo-yo dieting is bad??? Errr no. Oprah ain't got a thing on me! ::pft::
So here, I am, today.
Addicted.
Just like a drug, just like pornography, just like social networking, and so on and so forth.
I am an addict.
It wasn't until recently, I accepted this.
And it wasn't without the Lord's help.
Before I was blinded.
Now, He has opened my eyes.
Will I pass or fail?
That is THE question?
Can I live with letting HIM down?
Can I live with letting my daughter down? My husband down?
Can I live with letting MYSELF down?
The answer is simple, sure. Cute face. Chubby waist.
Right??? They will love me even if the scale doesn't.
WRONG.
I have an addiction. One that NEEDS to be broken, before it breaks me like it has already tried.
And its getting close, but how far will I let it go? How much longer am I to live like this? I can only imagine the world that is waiting out there for me, if I just could just manage to get HEALTHY. Not thin, but healthy.
So here I am, today...
Beginning yet another journey.
I've tried countless other ones...but with the wrong motive.
I don't wanna be THIN. I like having a tush. I like being able to fill out the bras I never could.
I don't however, want my high school figure back. In fact, I don't want any part of high school, PERIOD, to return. Those days are gone, and so is that person.
I am me, today.
Right here, right now.
Battling this ADDICTION.
And honestly...
I can honestly say, that because of my weight, I am a better person INSIDE. I treat people better. I love them for who they are, and not what they look like. Being vain is a thing of the past. I don't understand what people think they can possibly gain in life by making fun of others? I pity them. I pray for them. Because I know how sad and lonely their heart truly is. Yeah, I've been there, and sadly, I've done that. We are ALL beautiful people, no matter the color of our skin, the background of our life, the shape of our mid-section. We were ALL created in HIS image. He loves us unconditionally, so why do we treat people otherwise?
We've all got battles that many do not know of, so don't judge, but instead encourage.
Just because your battle isn't MY battle, doesn't excuse the fact that it is indeed, in some way, shape, or form, a BATTLE. Lift others up rather than beat them down. LOVE them as Jesus would.
To some, losing weight is easy. To me, someone who for most of my life, tried to gain FAT rather than muscle, its hard. VERY hard. Never having to go on a TRUE "diet", leaves me trying new things...especially now that my body is different (this happens after you give birth to a live human being), so its gonna take some time and a whole'lotta prayer.
What might seem easy to you, might be hard for me. And what might seem hard to you, may be easy to me. Addiction is addiction. Its a process of first coming to terms with it, and then its a process of healing, and then everyday is a "battle." My addiction may not be YOUR addiction. And your addiction may not be MY addiction.
So...
This is my journey.
This is my process.
My new day.
My new start.
My new song.
This is my battle.
And this is my VICTORY.
Hope you'll join me!
(April 2010 @ 211 lbs)
Fab hair, muscles, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
There's the book, but where's the worm??? | Check It! Thursday
Wow. Reading back on my recent posts, I have now crowned myself the TYPO QUEEN!
All hail.
Thankyouverymuch.
haha. Please forgive me and my thousands of typos in each post.
I promise, I'll try better. =]
1. Stop communicating openly and honestly.
2. Be consistently angry, selfish, rude, and abusive.
3. Refuse to forgive your spouse for any offense, no matter how small.
4. Stay depressed and negative as much as possible.
5. Convince your spouse that your children are far more important to you than he (she) is.
(FYI: God comes first, folks. Then your spouse. And THEN your children.)
6. Be consistently lazy and refuse to do much around the house or on your job.
7. Spend money foolishly and continually run up great debt.
8. Give place to addictions or annoying habits and defend your right to have them.
9. Don't care about your spouse needs sexually as long as you get what you want.
10. Habitually look at explicit films, magazines, or advertising and compare your husband (wife) to the glorified images you see there, and especially mention others whom you find more attractive.
11. Allow your heart to grow hard toward your husband (wife) and refuse to ever say, "I'm sorry, "Forgive me," or "I forgive you."
12. Make something other than God and your spouse your top priority.
13. "Threaten to get a divorce every time something comes up between you and your spouse that needs to be worked out.
14. Have an affair or entertain an obsession of the heart over something other than your husband (wife).
15. Move our of the home and don't try to reconcile your differences.
16. Give up and refuse to believe that God is a God of miracles who can restore love and hope.
________________________________________________
Got you thinking???
Yeah, me too. So much, that the first night with this book in hand, I just kept on reading, and before I knew it, I was on page 20! lol and I promise you, my highlighter is about to lose it's light(er). These books are just too good to put down!
Hope you all are having a wonderfully blessed week!
Those that are going through the poops of life right now, keep your head up, and eyes on HIM! HE is the prize! He'll get you to where you need to be...just gotta have the faith. He didn't promise it would always be easy, but He did promise He'd stick to us like glue the ENTIRE way! Don't let go of His hand...keep a firm grip, cause you already know He's never gonna let go of YOU. Being nailed to that cross wasn't just for show. If anyone knows pain, its Jesus. If anyone truly understands, its Jesus. If anyone can get you through WHATEVER it is you are going through now, its Jesus. Leave your worries at the cross and and cast your fears to the heavens. JESUS' GOT THIS! He knows what's up. Even when you don't speak it, He hears the cry in your heart, and He knows your pain... LET GO & LET GOD!
With that being said, I received this in my inbox this morning, and it literally shouted out at me. I do love when God shouts at me. He knows I'm a stubborn, hard-headed, selective hearing kinda daughter.
All hail.
Thankyouverymuch.
haha. Please forgive me and my thousands of typos in each post.
I promise, I'll try better. =]
[[Thursday's are all about advertisements! Whether it be for myself (wink*wink*), or for whatever else I recommend your ojos (and wallet) to oogle! From music, to books, to household items, to decorating, to movies...you name it! Whatever's blog worthy, you'll see it up here! If you own a small business and would like to advertise your awesomely awesome talent, feel free to contact me, and we'll get'cha on here!]]
Well, as some of you may know, come September, I will be launching my boudoir website!
Already purchased the domain name: www.MadameAmourBoudoir.com (don't click on it...yet) <3
Researching the perfect name was def lots of fun, and def made me wanna take a trip to Paris! Who wants to take me???? So yes, it will be in full swing come September! If you'd like your beautiful face to grace my website's launch, contact me to book your very own boudoir session! Book your session before Wednesday September 1, 2010, to take advantage of the current pricing. =D
Alrighty, on to older new things!
How many of you peeps are bookworms??? I will be the FIRST to say the longest book I've EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE was Twilight (and I didn't get past the 3rd ch. in Eclipse). That's sad, I know. haha I told my friend the other day, I just can't seem to REALLY get into a book unless Edwards name is printed all over, in, and around it. [[PROUD MEMBER OF TEAM EDWARD!!!!!!!!! WOOT! WOOT!]]
So if you get my gist here, I don't really dig reading, HOWEVER, lately I've become obsessed with Christian based books... self/spiritual growth, if you will. And I'd like to share an excerpt with you from this totally beyond awesomely awesome book! The author's name is Stormie Omartian, and girlfriend preaches it like no other! She's amazing with every single word she writes! Her books are convicting, and will def put a sista in her place! Right now, I'm reading "The Power to Change Your Marriage". Before you X out the screen, hear me out for a sec...
For all the married folks, or even those who have been in long lasting relationships, or heck...ALL OF US, AS HUMAN BEINGS- we're all on the journey to find, what? LOVE. Nowadays, this word is thrown and tossed around like a hacky sack. Not to mention its used and re-used like a dirty pair of chones. YUCK! I'm traditional is lots of areas of my life...not like a "stuck up" traditional LOL, but one who's morals are tucked deep down in my heart. I stay close to them, and like my mother always told me, and still does to this day, "Remember who you are." ... The Bible talks mucho mucho about L.O.V.E. And how HE created it to be. You know, the kind that's unconditional... the better or for worse kinda love. Just like the newest fashion smashion handbag out there, I want a LOVE like THAT! (of course not referring love to materialism, but you get the point). As soon I as balled my way through the words, "I do.", it was no longer about ME, but instead, just as the Spice Girls sang it, "...two became ONE." And how I love my husband (and vice versa) determines what kind of life we will lead. It determines our over all happiness not just as a couple, but as a family. I'm all about making it WORK, rather than throwing in the towel. With Him ALL things are possible! And its possible for the most broken of broken marriages to be healed, and its possible for the most perfectly imperfect marriage to be healed. A marriage is a marriage, and with Him, ALL things are healed. So yes, I'm a lover and a fighter, and I'm gonna fight for what I love, and that's a marriage I hope and pray that God will be proud of. [[Proverbs 31 is my go-to verse, these days! Check it out! You'll be glad you did.]]
When Jr and I first started dating. HA! We were 2 crazy nuts in love...or so we thought, anyway. Heck we thought we were REALLY in love even after we had our daughter, Aislynn. Nah-uh. We didn't learn of this love until we "reached out and touched faith". When we allowed God to come into our home, and into our marriage, that is when our marriage took a complete 180, and we haven't looked back. We're looking forward, and we can't wait to see what the Good Lord has in store for us! This is why Jr and I about to embark on Marriage Coaching. Next Thursday is our first "session", and to be quite honest I'm kinda nervous. lol Yesterday, we had to fill out an assessment that was errr 200+ questions. Some of the questions, like Clayton's, I had never even thought of, until of course I HAD to answer it, and on top of that in multiple choice format. And to be honest, I'm quite nervous to see how Jr answered them... like he secretly thinks I need to get a life or something. lol I dunno... And we won't find out until Thursday. GAH! The anticipation is gonna kill me!! THIS is where I must practice that crazy virtue they call, "patience." What silly insane person invented that anyway?!?!
So, in the weeks to come, I will blogging about our sessions, as crazy and emotional as they may be. (don't say I didn't warn ya!) I'm not here to say Jr and I have the perfect marriage, cause we're farrrrrr from being even in the same vicinity as "perfect". But we are def a prime example of the perfectly imperfect couple. We have our good days, and we have our bad days...choosing how we act upon them is an entirely different story. Doesn't mean we love each other any less, just means we have a lot of growing to do. And we're excited to take this next step together! I mean what do we have to lose right? But def oh so much to gain!
So, in the weeks to come, I will blogging about our sessions, as crazy and emotional as they may be. (don't say I didn't warn ya!) I'm not here to say Jr and I have the perfect marriage, cause we're farrrrrr from being even in the same vicinity as "perfect". But we are def a prime example of the perfectly imperfect couple. We have our good days, and we have our bad days...choosing how we act upon them is an entirely different story. Doesn't mean we love each other any less, just means we have a lot of growing to do. And we're excited to take this next step together! I mean what do we have to lose right? But def oh so much to gain!
So anywho...here's a few excerpts from Stormie's book!
Don't worry, they stung my heart a little too.
I read a sentence, and thought without a care.
Re-read it, and thought, "Nahhhhhhhhhh."
Re-read it, and then proceeded to highlight it. lol
Promise you, at least every other sentence in this book is highlighted! THAT is how awesome it is!
Hope you enjoy! And don't forget to take a look at Stormie's other books that, from what I've heard, are just as amazing this one, here. I'm also reading, "Power of a Praying Wife", and Jr has began to read, "Power of a Praying Husband." The best $13 I've spent in a LONG time! And trust me, coming from someone who'd rather flip a tortilla than flip the page of a book, THIS is DEF worth your time, and def worth the read! Besides, the chapters are less than 5 pages long. Can't be that, right?! =D
__________________________________________________
"If you WANT to, you can change..."
"You can find the success you desire in your marriage if you do things God's way and refuse to give up."
"Its not that a person CAN'T change. It's that the don't WANT to change. Or they don't want to make the effort to do anything differently than they always have. Or they don't care to seek God about what changes He would like to see worked in them. Or they are so totally happy with themselves that they don't think they need to change..."
"Each one of us always needs to change in many ways, some more than others, but God will start with the one who is willing. And the good news is, this is where His blessings with be directed first as well."
"We have to learn that it's not OUR job to change our spouse, anyway. Its the work of the Holy Spirit... God made each of us in HIS image, and He doesn't want us to try and make our spouse over into OUR OWN image. Our job is to accept our spouse as he (she) is and pray for the Lord to make the necessary changes in him (her)."
"...You don't see how you can ever bring it all back together again because the damage seems irreparable. But in the Lord NOTHING is irreparable."
And last, but not least...
"Lord, change me into the person YOU want me to be, and show me what I need to do."
"You can find the success you desire in your marriage if you do things God's way and refuse to give up."
"Its not that a person CAN'T change. It's that the don't WANT to change. Or they don't want to make the effort to do anything differently than they always have. Or they don't care to seek God about what changes He would like to see worked in them. Or they are so totally happy with themselves that they don't think they need to change..."
"Each one of us always needs to change in many ways, some more than others, but God will start with the one who is willing. And the good news is, this is where His blessings with be directed first as well."
"We have to learn that it's not OUR job to change our spouse, anyway. Its the work of the Holy Spirit... God made each of us in HIS image, and He doesn't want us to try and make our spouse over into OUR OWN image. Our job is to accept our spouse as he (she) is and pray for the Lord to make the necessary changes in him (her)."
"...You don't see how you can ever bring it all back together again because the damage seems irreparable. But in the Lord NOTHING is irreparable."
And last, but not least...
"Lord, change me into the person YOU want me to be, and show me what I need to do."
_________________________________________________
And lastly... (yes, this is where God tickled my heart just a tinyyyyy bit. Okay. Okay. He smacked me over the head with wisdom and the virtue of being humble!)
1. Stop communicating openly and honestly.
2. Be consistently angry, selfish, rude, and abusive.
3. Refuse to forgive your spouse for any offense, no matter how small.
4. Stay depressed and negative as much as possible.
5. Convince your spouse that your children are far more important to you than he (she) is.
(FYI: God comes first, folks. Then your spouse. And THEN your children.)
6. Be consistently lazy and refuse to do much around the house or on your job.
7. Spend money foolishly and continually run up great debt.
8. Give place to addictions or annoying habits and defend your right to have them.
9. Don't care about your spouse needs sexually as long as you get what you want.
10. Habitually look at explicit films, magazines, or advertising and compare your husband (wife) to the glorified images you see there, and especially mention others whom you find more attractive.
11. Allow your heart to grow hard toward your husband (wife) and refuse to ever say, "I'm sorry, "Forgive me," or "I forgive you."
12. Make something other than God and your spouse your top priority.
13. "Threaten to get a divorce every time something comes up between you and your spouse that needs to be worked out.
14. Have an affair or entertain an obsession of the heart over something other than your husband (wife).
15. Move our of the home and don't try to reconcile your differences.
16. Give up and refuse to believe that God is a God of miracles who can restore love and hope.
________________________________________________
Got you thinking???
Yeah, me too. So much, that the first night with this book in hand, I just kept on reading, and before I knew it, I was on page 20! lol and I promise you, my highlighter is about to lose it's light(er). These books are just too good to put down!
Hope you all are having a wonderfully blessed week!
Those that are going through the poops of life right now, keep your head up, and eyes on HIM! HE is the prize! He'll get you to where you need to be...just gotta have the faith. He didn't promise it would always be easy, but He did promise He'd stick to us like glue the ENTIRE way! Don't let go of His hand...keep a firm grip, cause you already know He's never gonna let go of YOU. Being nailed to that cross wasn't just for show. If anyone knows pain, its Jesus. If anyone truly understands, its Jesus. If anyone can get you through WHATEVER it is you are going through now, its Jesus. Leave your worries at the cross and and cast your fears to the heavens. JESUS' GOT THIS! He knows what's up. Even when you don't speak it, He hears the cry in your heart, and He knows your pain... LET GO & LET GOD!
With that being said, I received this in my inbox this morning, and it literally shouted out at me. I do love when God shouts at me. He knows I'm a stubborn, hard-headed, selective hearing kinda daughter.
"Sometimes God has to put us flat on our back before we are looking up to Him." -- Jack Graham
PS. If you know of any GREAT books out there, feel free to leave a comment!
I'd love to read your suggestions!
Highlighters, prayers, and HUGE love,
-Casey <3
Rainy Day Cheers! | Aislynn's Corner
[[Wednesdays are ALL about my Aislynn LOVE! I'll be posting pics of her, by her, and for her!]]
For Houstonians, rain is a thing of the norm. Well, at least it has been the past couple of days. The weekend was drenched with THE biggest rain drops I had ever seen, not to mention we got wildly attacked by a ninja hail storm. (that's a blog in itself.)
I hate the heat. I mean, I really. really. REALLY. DO. Why must it be 100+ degrees? Why?? I don't understand this, and never will... I mean of course there are plenty of logical explanations, but really, WHY?? God knows I don't have humid proof hair. Why must He torture me in this way? WHY? I look like a Chia Pet that has been drowned by it's owner. (I'm a plant killer. Not by heart, but def by nature. My green thumb will never be green.)
Unfortunately for Aislynn, my non humid-proof hair genes have passed right on down to her... so much that my dreams of gracefully brushing my daughter's hair, and creating awesomely cute hairstyles equipped with bows, ribbons, and whatever else I can find...yeah those days have yet to come. Number one, she isn't thrilled at my brushing of her hair, however when I create the most wild styles (ones that I would NEVER intend on being seen by the public for fear that peeps would look at me like I neglect my daughter's appearance), Aislynn gets super uber excited about them! Why? I have no clue. Number two, her hair is super thin. Me? Well, I've never laid hands on thin hair, so I dunno the first thing about it, other than it being, well, thin, so this is all new to me.
SO, a couple of weeks ago, I YouTubed (yes, I did) hair-styles for children. I sat Aislynn with me in hopes of brewing some kind of excitement towards "normal" hair styles. Immediately, she went to the bathroom, and tried doing her OWN hair. This I can appreciate because I get frazzled attempting to do even my own hair. However I soon found out, I was unsuccessful in my quest...a crazy hairstyle is what Aislynn loves, and what she considers to be "Princess" worthy. My mother used to french braid my hair, and after years and years of her doing it (even after high school. Yes, I totally rocked the french braid at the age of 20!), I, personally, have NO clue how to achieve this simple sassafras look! And due to my absence of beauty school, poor thing, has a permanent part in her hair. She's gonna hate me for it 3 years from now, I just know it...I just know it. So I give up...I figure the funkier, the better. And that's exactly what I tried below, and Aislynn was THRILLED!
These images were taken Monday after...yes you guessed it, the rain. Over the wet and rainy weekend, we bought Aislynn some rain boots, which she can't seem to live without. Rain has become her best friend and her most anticipated event of the day! (I can't say I don't agree. I'd rather it rain than feel like a blazing inferno outside.) Monday, she peered through the blinds all morning, and finally the first cloud arrived, and no sooner did Aislynn yell out, "Mommy! Its about to rain!!". Patiently waiting, she peered out again, and finally, it was raining cats and dogs. Again, no sooner did she yell, "Mommy! We need boots!!" She ate her lunch and cleaned her entire bedroom in less than half an hour just to be able to go outside and play in the rain! (This was a HUGE accomplishment for her! Or any 3 year old for that matter. haha)
Although Aislynn digs crazy hair, she doesn't dig getting dirty. In fact, if she spills a little something on her shirt, I'll find her in rummaging through her closet for a change of clean clothes to put on. She doesn't even like getting her Barbie's wet, unless of course they have fins which then implies they are SUPPOSED to get wet. However, if she spots one of God's tiny creatures scurrying across the floor, she run after it, and magnifies the effect by getting SUPER close. (dunno where she gets this from- Jr and I despise creepy crawlers) So to see her jumping in, out, and around the puddles was a breath of fresh air. She had so much fun, even after having to repeatedly pour out the water in her boots. She didn't mind. And because she didn't mind, I didn't mind. Those boots are replaceable. So what if they smell like rancid water. Right??? haha! We'll see about that. But those memories of her enjoying herself without a care in the world...well, those of course are priceless, and I'm glad I was able to capture these moments. We were only out there for maybe 30 minutes, but it was the best 30 minutes of the day! Hope you enjoy these moments as much as Aislynn and I did. =]
Shot in Manual Mode: F/4.0 1/640 ISO 200
Shot in Manual Mode: F/5.6 1/800 ISO 640
(This was initially my first shot, and for some reason from the time I set my camera up while in my bedroom to the time I made it outside, it magically changed to Program Mode)
Shot in Manual Mode: F/4.0 1/640 ISO 200
Shot in Manual Mode: F/4/0 1/640 ISO 200
Shot in Manual Mode: F/4.0 1/1000 ISO-200
Shot in Manual Mode: F/4.0 1/640 ISO-200
To check out more images from our fun in the rain, visit my Flickr page!
To check out more images from our fun in the rain, visit my Flickr page!
(I've given it a resurrection, if you will.)
ENJOY!
Rain, Shine, & HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Infront of the Camera. | Hallelujah Tuesday
[[Hallelujah Tuesday's are all about testimonies, personal experiences, and encouragement! If you'd like to offer your testimony to readers (and be featured here on my blog), please contact me! You don't have to be a blogger, just a real live human being with a story to tell!]]
Sayyy whattt??? ME in FRONT of the camera??? NAHHHHH!
YEP! Jr and I are having professional pictures taken by the breathtaking Clayton Austin. Love Stories. come February of next year. I must admit, while in the stars with excitement, I am a complete nervous WRECK! I love directing others into the perfect "pose", but me??? I don't really even know where to begin. I'm the hand on the hip, prissy smile kinda gal...in every. single. picture. YEP. That's me! For this shoot, the vulnerability is WAY up! Sky high, if you will. If you take a look at Clayton's work, you'll see how intimate the mood is. Kinda scary right???? I mean, we have to be "intimate" while a stranger is all up in our grill with a camera. Oh lawd.
Btw. yes, I'm freaking out even though we're only in the month of July. You see, I'm sort of a perfectionist, and I like to plan as early as I possibly can. For instance Aislynn's birthday isn't until October 31 (yes, Halloween), and I decided yesterday I will start planning mid- August if not the first of August. I'm one of those who will plan and plan, and then when things don't go MY way, I'm filled with disappointment. This habit, I am trying to break. And THIS is why I love my hubby so...he's the complete opposite. Which brings me to the inspirational aspect of our upcoming session...
Clayton send me an email this past weekend asking for a guide towards possible inspiration. Mmk, I thought. EASY! I do this with my client's too, and I DEF already have a zillion answers for him. I anxiously opened his email, and after reading his last question, my thoughts came to a complete halt. He simply asked, "What are some things that connect you to one another?" Umm say what??? I thought and I thought, and I thought. Not one thing came to mind other than the love for eating out. ::facepalm:: I thought to myself, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? WHY THE HECK CAN'T I THINK OF ONEEEE SINGLE CONNECTION???? ... this is bad. This is bad. bad. bad." After contemplating it for a while, and desperately seeking Jr's opinion hoping with all my heart, he had the answer (again disappointment)... He too, couldn't think of a single thing besides yep, you guessed it, FOOD (amongst other GUY things. ugh)!! Wow. We've been married almost 3 full years, together 4+, and have a child, and that's ALL he's got! Suddenly the rush of, "OMG! What kind of couple are we??? How are we even married? And even more, how the heck have we managed to continuously be happy?? How are we STILL together?? Where the heck is that romantic spark everyone speaks of??" I mean, Clayton's question REALLY took a toll on me that morning. So much, that in fact, 5 minutes from being ready to head out the door to run errands, I was ready to tell Jr, "Um. I'm not feeling too well, and I have a lot to get done... I think I'm just gonna stay in for the day. You can go ahead and take Aislynn out..." Why? So I could sit in bed all day, and ponder our happyconnecting marriage. ::slaps myself::
Immediately after, it dawned on me.
He's the cheese to my mac. (Juno got this from ME. I am the queen of MAC. Real talk)
The butter (bc I don't like peanut butter) to my jelly.
The yin to my yang.
My kinda perfect.
We're the opposites that MATCH.
And through our opposite "connections", we def CONNECT.
We compromise and compliment each other.
Just as I am a FULL BLOWN OUT PLANNER of events, he's a go with the flow kinda guy...one that makes the best of whatever the situation. I love him because of this. In almost every aspect of our personalities, we're the opposite of each other. Although I REALLY don't enjoy watching sports on ESPN, I would def LOVE to actually attend a game. (May even hear me shout to the referee for a bad call) Although I'm into crafts and getting creative, Jr can sure tie curling ribbon like no other! Although he doesn't get into music AS much as I do, he still enjoys is, and feels special when I dedicate a song to him.
Everything CONNECTS us together. Why? Because, we ARE TOGETHER. Doesn't matter what we're doing or where we're at, as long as we're together, we're happy and very much in love. And the MOST important connection we DO have, is OUR FAITH. Our marriage isn't just the two of us, its the THREE of us; God, Jr, and myself. We are blessed. We are in love. And we ARE CONNECTED.
Pictures, smiles, and HUGE HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Sayyy whattt??? ME in FRONT of the camera??? NAHHHHH!
YEP! Jr and I are having professional pictures taken by the breathtaking Clayton Austin. Love Stories. come February of next year. I must admit, while in the stars with excitement, I am a complete nervous WRECK! I love directing others into the perfect "pose", but me??? I don't really even know where to begin. I'm the hand on the hip, prissy smile kinda gal...in every. single. picture. YEP. That's me! For this shoot, the vulnerability is WAY up! Sky high, if you will. If you take a look at Clayton's work, you'll see how intimate the mood is. Kinda scary right???? I mean, we have to be "intimate" while a stranger is all up in our grill with a camera. Oh lawd.
Btw. yes, I'm freaking out even though we're only in the month of July. You see, I'm sort of a perfectionist, and I like to plan as early as I possibly can. For instance Aislynn's birthday isn't until October 31 (yes, Halloween), and I decided yesterday I will start planning mid- August if not the first of August. I'm one of those who will plan and plan, and then when things don't go MY way, I'm filled with disappointment. This habit, I am trying to break. And THIS is why I love my hubby so...he's the complete opposite. Which brings me to the inspirational aspect of our upcoming session...
Clayton send me an email this past weekend asking for a guide towards possible inspiration. Mmk, I thought. EASY! I do this with my client's too, and I DEF already have a zillion answers for him. I anxiously opened his email, and after reading his last question, my thoughts came to a complete halt. He simply asked, "What are some things that connect you to one another?" Umm say what??? I thought and I thought, and I thought. Not one thing came to mind other than the love for eating out. ::facepalm:: I thought to myself, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? WHY THE HECK CAN'T I THINK OF ONEEEE SINGLE CONNECTION???? ... this is bad. This is bad. bad. bad." After contemplating it for a while, and desperately seeking Jr's opinion hoping with all my heart, he had the answer (again disappointment)... He too, couldn't think of a single thing besides yep, you guessed it, FOOD (amongst other GUY things. ugh)!! Wow. We've been married almost 3 full years, together 4+, and have a child, and that's ALL he's got! Suddenly the rush of, "OMG! What kind of couple are we??? How are we even married? And even more, how the heck have we managed to continuously be happy?? How are we STILL together?? Where the heck is that romantic spark everyone speaks of??" I mean, Clayton's question REALLY took a toll on me that morning. So much, that in fact, 5 minutes from being ready to head out the door to run errands, I was ready to tell Jr, "Um. I'm not feeling too well, and I have a lot to get done... I think I'm just gonna stay in for the day. You can go ahead and take Aislynn out..." Why? So I could sit in bed all day, and ponder our happy
Immediately after, it dawned on me.
He's the cheese to my mac. (Juno got this from ME. I am the queen of MAC. Real talk)
The butter (bc I don't like peanut butter) to my jelly.
The yin to my yang.
My kinda perfect.
We're the opposites that MATCH.
And through our opposite "connections", we def CONNECT.
We compromise and compliment each other.
Just as I am a FULL BLOWN OUT PLANNER of events, he's a go with the flow kinda guy...one that makes the best of whatever the situation. I love him because of this. In almost every aspect of our personalities, we're the opposite of each other. Although I REALLY don't enjoy watching sports on ESPN, I would def LOVE to actually attend a game. (May even hear me shout to the referee for a bad call) Although I'm into crafts and getting creative, Jr can sure tie curling ribbon like no other! Although he doesn't get into music AS much as I do, he still enjoys is, and feels special when I dedicate a song to him.
Everything CONNECTS us together. Why? Because, we ARE TOGETHER. Doesn't matter what we're doing or where we're at, as long as we're together, we're happy and very much in love. And the MOST important connection we DO have, is OUR FAITH. Our marriage isn't just the two of us, its the THREE of us; God, Jr, and myself. We are blessed. We are in love. And we ARE CONNECTED.
<3
Pictures, smiles, and HUGE HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Monday, July 19, 2010
Work Hard. Play Hard. | Momma-ville Monday (Part Deux)
Let's kick this week of shall we??? Its gonna be great one!! Right? RIGHT????
Of course! Cause after all, it is what we make it to be, right? RIGHT? Mhmm.
[Easier said than done, I know. lol]
Anywhoooo! Good Morning, cupcakes!
I woke up with a headache, rain on my window, and my to-do list slapping me in the face, so this will be a short one this morning.
To do-list of today (which hopefully doesn't pour itself into tomorrow):
* Clean
* Clean
* Organize "my" bookshelf
* Clean
* Laundry (there's 2 overflowing baskets. YIKES!)
* Organize my workspace (this is gonna take a while)
* Oh, did I mention more cleaning? =)
* Take Aislynn to play in the rain puddles. (not a chore, of course, but def something I'm looking forward to!)
You see, my hubby works Monday- Saturday from 6am - to usually 6pm at night. He's home by 7pm, eating done by 8 or 8:30pm, andddddd we're still trying to figure out where the rest of the time goes. lol Point is, we hardly see each other, so the weekends are usually spent cramming whatever we can into the less than 48 hours we have to catch up from the entire week. SO, in order to get the cleaning done a little faster, here are some of my most favorite products! Ones that I can't live without!
OOHHH BABY!! These thangs are a God-send!! Seriously! The best thing invented since scotch tape! They do any and every kind job in just a matter of seconds! PLUS, they have a scrubber side AND a smooth side!! You think you get all that nastiness that's stuck on your counter?? You'd be surprised at what that Lysol wipe picks up! HIGHLY recommend! I'd scrub my face with these if the FDA approved it!
My daughter got this from my parents as a gift for Christmas this past year, and OH EM GEE, BECKY! THAT broom! THAT broom does wonders! It gets into places ordinary brooms just sweep on over/by! Granted I have to bend slightly to get all this stuff, but its well worth tackling them dust bunnies before they take over entire corners and create an army under the beds. Btw. the vacuum actually works. (I couldn't believe it either! haha!)
I'll leave you with this for the day. FF5.
Family? Why, yes they are! My cousins to be exact! (real talk) And they rock so hard!
This is my fave song of theirs! Always manages to put a little pep in my step and of course a little extra "love in it!" Enjoy! =D
Lysol, tiny brooms, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Of course! Cause after all, it is what we make it to be, right? RIGHT? Mhmm.
[Easier said than done, I know. lol]
Anywhoooo! Good Morning, cupcakes!
I woke up with a headache, rain on my window, and my to-do list slapping me in the face, so this will be a short one this morning.
To do-list of today (which hopefully doesn't pour itself into tomorrow):
* Clean
* Clean
* Organize "my" bookshelf
* Clean
* Laundry (there's 2 overflowing baskets. YIKES!)
* Organize my workspace (this is gonna take a while)
* Oh, did I mention more cleaning? =)
* Take Aislynn to play in the rain puddles. (not a chore, of course, but def something I'm looking forward to!)
You see, my hubby works Monday- Saturday from 6am - to usually 6pm at night. He's home by 7pm, eating done by 8 or 8:30pm, andddddd we're still trying to figure out where the rest of the time goes. lol Point is, we hardly see each other, so the weekends are usually spent cramming whatever we can into the less than 48 hours we have to catch up from the entire week. SO, in order to get the cleaning done a little faster, here are some of my most favorite products! Ones that I can't live without!
OOHHH BABY!! These thangs are a God-send!! Seriously! The best thing invented since scotch tape! They do any and every kind job in just a matter of seconds! PLUS, they have a scrubber side AND a smooth side!! You think you get all that nastiness that's stuck on your counter?? You'd be surprised at what that Lysol wipe picks up! HIGHLY recommend! I'd scrub my face with these if the FDA approved it!
And one more! (there are plenty others, but these are my top 2!)
My daughter got this from my parents as a gift for Christmas this past year, and OH EM GEE, BECKY! THAT broom! THAT broom does wonders! It gets into places ordinary brooms just sweep on over/by! Granted I have to bend slightly to get all this stuff, but its well worth tackling them dust bunnies before they take over entire corners and create an army under the beds. Btw. the vacuum actually works. (I couldn't believe it either! haha!)
I'll leave you with this for the day. FF5.
Family? Why, yes they are! My cousins to be exact! (real talk) And they rock so hard!
This is my fave song of theirs! Always manages to put a little pep in my step and of course a little extra "love in it!" Enjoy! =D
Lysol, tiny brooms, and HUGE LOVE!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Subjects for Subjects | Momma-ville Monday (Morning)
For those that had the pleasure of hanging out with me on Myspace about...ohhh...a year or so back, know that I used to blog quite often. I miss those days, so why not reunite and give my thoughts and writing a resurrection?
So, that's exactly what I plan on doing...
Subjects for subjects.
Each day, I'll have something new going on... well duh, right? lol
Let me rephrase that, each day, I'll talk about a different subject.
Wait...let me try one more time (as I get used to actually blogging again lol - its okay to laugh. i promise.)
O. KAY.
So. I've compiled a list of topics. Each day, of each week, I will be blogging about this specific topic. (sound better??? cause right now, well, that's all I've got) Unless of course my extreme random brain cells say otherwise, which yes, is very likely. But anywho, here's sorta kinda how I have it played out in my this loco head of mine. I mean why on earth must I blog about NOTHING but photography??? What blog nazi came up with THAT idearrr?? I mean hellooo, would there be a need for photography without the inspiration of the world around us?? Um. yeah, no. How would we find our personal style without engaging in all aspects of photography... photography isn't just about putting the camera up to your face and taking a great shot, but instead, its about seeing the world with your YOUR lenses...YOUR eyes. Its about taking a great shot with your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your heart. I'm inspired by so so so much, and to be able to share that in more ways than one, well...I hope I can achieve this... by blogging, that is. At least I can only hope. If not, well my life is a soap opera anyway, and I guarantee its full of pure entertainment! Promise!
So I'ma take it on back. Hit that pause button for a minute, and take in all the day has to bring me, whether good or bad, happy or sad. I mean, c'mon, yes I'm behind the camera almost 100% of time (unless I strategically take the pic myself), I KNOW it can be intimidating, and when you've got somebody who you've never really quite met before, and you're trusting THEM to take your picture all while making you look like well, YOU (that's ultimately what we really want right??? It def should be. Otherwise, I'm not the photographer for you). For those few hours as you strip away the craziness of life, you're there, before me, completely vulnerable. My job as a photographer isn't just to capture random people in nice clothes. No. My job is to capture your heart and soul. Capture who you REALLY are. What makes you, YOU. Now, how in the world could I possibly ask SO much from my clients, when they know very little about me? So like you are vulnerable in front of the camera, I am vulnerable behind the camera. My heart and my soul, like yours, is just as exposed. YOU inspire me to do my "job." Without you and your amazing and unique personality, I might as well pack my camera, and head on out. Why would anybody want pictures of "themselves" not being themselves?? What kinda memories are those?? :: pft :: Just as you invite me into your "personal space", I invite you right on back to mine. I'd like you to know what I'm all about... how I roll, cause I WILL roll to your session in sweats, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap. You are more than just a subject or a job, you're my next inspiration. So please, when coming to a session, don't forget your heart, and I promise not to forget mine!
So come on over, grab a cup ofcoffee tea (I'm def not and never will be a coffee drinker), sit back, relax, and enjoy my "so called life". And please do not hesitate to leave comments. I love me some comments! I love feedback! So please, feel free!
Without, further delay, here's the week's line up! [[Starting tomorrow]]
Monday | Momma-ville
Tuesday | Check It!
Wednesday | Aislynn's Corner (girlfriend's got skills!)
Thursday | Halle-lu-JAH! ("JAH!" Not "YAH!" Thanks Aunt June for the thought! hehe)
Friday | Fat Girl Slim (yes you read right.)
Saturday | Meet theGriswald's Ayala's
Sunday | Holy Rollin' to Heaven's Gates
Now what each of these mean, well, I'ma torture ya, and you're just gonna have to come on back to check it out! Which, of course, I hope you do! I'll also be inviting other bloggers to come and share their stories, which I hope all you bloggers will participate in! C'mon, don't be shy, now.=D
I'll also be tagging my camera info on each image I take (with my DSLR) and post. (this helped/helps me better understand the ("correct") and I use quotations bc it really just depends on what type of mood you're aiming for in your image.) exposure. btw. Histogram rocks my socks!
ALSOOOO! I now have a little box where you can simply type in your e-mail addy if you'd simply like toreligiously follow my blog. No need for coming back and checking everyday (cause, well I'd forget too). This will allow my blog to POP (yes pop) in yo inbox! Yippee for awesome technology! You'll find this little box located on the top right hand corner underneath my pretty little picture (yes, that's me. HI!). Go check it out! Its waiting for you! Yep, just for YOU! =D
Have a SUPERRRR blessed, Monday!
I pray its not a MANIC one.
Random subjects & Huge love!
XoXo
-Casey <3
So, that's exactly what I plan on doing...
Subjects for subjects.
Each day, I'll have something new going on... well duh, right? lol
Let me rephrase that, each day, I'll talk about a different subject.
Wait...let me try one more time (as I get used to actually blogging again lol - its okay to laugh. i promise.)
O. KAY.
So. I've compiled a list of topics. Each day, of each week, I will be blogging about this specific topic. (sound better??? cause right now, well, that's all I've got) Unless of course my extreme random brain cells say otherwise, which yes, is very likely. But anywho, here's sorta kinda how I have it played out in my this loco head of mine. I mean why on earth must I blog about NOTHING but photography??? What blog nazi came up with THAT idearrr?? I mean hellooo, would there be a need for photography without the inspiration of the world around us?? Um. yeah, no. How would we find our personal style without engaging in all aspects of photography... photography isn't just about putting the camera up to your face and taking a great shot, but instead, its about seeing the world with your YOUR lenses...YOUR eyes. Its about taking a great shot with your mind, your thoughts, your feelings, your heart. I'm inspired by so so so much, and to be able to share that in more ways than one, well...I hope I can achieve this... by blogging, that is. At least I can only hope. If not, well my life is a soap opera anyway, and I guarantee its full of pure entertainment! Promise!
So I'ma take it on back. Hit that pause button for a minute, and take in all the day has to bring me, whether good or bad, happy or sad. I mean, c'mon, yes I'm behind the camera almost 100% of time (unless I strategically take the pic myself), I KNOW it can be intimidating, and when you've got somebody who you've never really quite met before, and you're trusting THEM to take your picture all while making you look like well, YOU (that's ultimately what we really want right??? It def should be. Otherwise, I'm not the photographer for you). For those few hours as you strip away the craziness of life, you're there, before me, completely vulnerable. My job as a photographer isn't just to capture random people in nice clothes. No. My job is to capture your heart and soul. Capture who you REALLY are. What makes you, YOU. Now, how in the world could I possibly ask SO much from my clients, when they know very little about me? So like you are vulnerable in front of the camera, I am vulnerable behind the camera. My heart and my soul, like yours, is just as exposed. YOU inspire me to do my "job." Without you and your amazing and unique personality, I might as well pack my camera, and head on out. Why would anybody want pictures of "themselves" not being themselves?? What kinda memories are those?? :: pft :: Just as you invite me into your "personal space", I invite you right on back to mine. I'd like you to know what I'm all about... how I roll, cause I WILL roll to your session in sweats, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap. You are more than just a subject or a job, you're my next inspiration. So please, when coming to a session, don't forget your heart, and I promise not to forget mine!
So come on over, grab a cup of
Without, further delay, here's the week's line up! [[Starting tomorrow]]
Monday | Momma-ville
Tuesday | Check It!
Wednesday | Aislynn's Corner (girlfriend's got skills!)
Thursday | Halle-lu-JAH! ("JAH!" Not "YAH!" Thanks Aunt June for the thought! hehe)
Friday | Fat Girl Slim (yes you read right.)
Saturday | Meet the
Sunday | Holy Rollin' to Heaven's Gates
Now what each of these mean, well, I'ma torture ya, and you're just gonna have to come on back to check it out! Which, of course, I hope you do! I'll also be inviting other bloggers to come and share their stories, which I hope all you bloggers will participate in! C'mon, don't be shy, now.=D
I'll also be tagging my camera info on each image I take (with my DSLR) and post. (this helped/helps me better understand the ("correct") and I use quotations bc it really just depends on what type of mood you're aiming for in your image.) exposure. btw. Histogram rocks my socks!
ALSOOOO! I now have a little box where you can simply type in your e-mail addy if you'd simply like to
Have a SUPERRRR blessed, Monday!
I pray its not a MANIC one.
Random subjects & Huge love!
XoXo
-Casey <3
Thursday, July 8, 2010
MODEL CALL!
*** UPDATE: GOT 3 FABULOUS LADIES TO MODEL! THANK YOU!!! VERY EXCITED ABOUT WORKING WITH YOU, LOVELY LADIES!! ***
BLAH!! For those that truly know me, know I have THE most random brain evarrr!
(I will get to this randomness further down...)
I have really high hopes for creating a completely separate website specifically for BOUDOIR photography. (I mean, family smiles and bras don't really go well together, right?? lol) I've decided on a couple of brand names, colors, and designs. All's I need are faces. Models. Fabulousness to fill my page, and get it started!
When I first started going to art school, I thought, OH! I DEF WANNA DO FASHION photography, but I'm not down with all the fakeness of Photoshop. So what if my ta-ta's are perfectly round?? I don't need someone using the their super awesome Photoshop skills to fix it. God made me this way, and dang it, that's how I'm gonna stay, EVEN in photographs! I think more than anything, boudoir photography is about embracing who you are, and loving yourself for every ounce of your being. Embracing your womanhood! It's empowering, romantic, and sexy!
So scratch the last blog.
I am in need of THREE Fabulous Boudoir Models!
Are you brave enough? Sure you are!
(nudity is NOT required, but fun and sexy are!)
Are you sexy enough? You bet!
Are you fabulous enough? Heck yeah!
[btw. It's a very "Samantha" thing to do.
mhmm.]
What's in it for you, eh?
*Hair and Make-up*
(Done by my lovely sister who has worked with me on numerous other sessions)
*One Hour of Continuous Coverage*
*Wine included.*
*10-15 Fully Enhanced Images on DVD*
*2 Free 8x10 Prints of Your Choice*
(Printed on high quality professional grade paper)
*And of course the FABULOUS location @ Hotel Icon!*
All I ask is for permission to flaunt your beautiful face on my personal website/blog/Fan Facebook Page! [You will be required to sign a model release form. Must be 18 or older.]
BOOKING TO THE FIRST 3 LADIES TO CONTACT ME!
Date to Remember:
Sunday, August 29, 2010.
Email:
caseyayala@caseyayalaphotography.com
BLAH!! For those that truly know me, know I have THE most random brain evarrr!
(I will get to this randomness further down...)
I have really high hopes for creating a completely separate website specifically for BOUDOIR photography. (I mean, family smiles and bras don't really go well together, right?? lol) I've decided on a couple of brand names, colors, and designs. All's I need are faces. Models. Fabulousness to fill my page, and get it started!
When I first started going to art school, I thought, OH! I DEF WANNA DO FASHION photography, but I'm not down with all the fakeness of Photoshop. So what if my ta-ta's are perfectly round?? I don't need someone using the their super awesome Photoshop skills to fix it. God made me this way, and dang it, that's how I'm gonna stay, EVEN in photographs! I think more than anything, boudoir photography is about embracing who you are, and loving yourself for every ounce of your being. Embracing your womanhood! It's empowering, romantic, and sexy!
So scratch the last blog.
I am in need of THREE Fabulous Boudoir Models!
Are you brave enough? Sure you are!
(nudity is NOT required, but fun and sexy are!)
Are you sexy enough? You bet!
Are you fabulous enough? Heck yeah!
[btw. It's a very "Samantha" thing to do.
mhmm.]
What's in it for you, eh?
*Hair and Make-up*
(Done by my lovely sister who has worked with me on numerous other sessions)
*One Hour of Continuous Coverage*
*Wine included.*
*10-15 Fully Enhanced Images on DVD*
*2 Free 8x10 Prints of Your Choice*
(Printed on high quality professional grade paper)
*And of course the FABULOUS location @ Hotel Icon!*
All I ask is for permission to flaunt your beautiful face on my personal website/blog/Fan Facebook Page! [You will be required to sign a model release form. Must be 18 or older.]
BOOKING TO THE FIRST 3 LADIES TO CONTACT ME!
Date to Remember:
Sunday, August 29, 2010.
Email:
caseyayala@caseyayalaphotography.com
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